The more you know (dog edition).

25 Things You Would Never Have Said Before You Got Dogs

1. "Don't lick the driveway."
2. "No, no, poop over here!"
3. "Don't eat that, it's dead!"
4. "Please stop scratching the carpet.”
5. "Oh, no, he'll fight you if you try to put clothes on him."
6. "Well, let's face it, at this point he'll probably die before he gets any serious tooth decay."
7. "Why is this entire yard no good to pee in?"
8. "Well, you enjoyed the same food for the last 346 days, so why is it a problem now?"
9. "Stop sniffing butts!"
10. "We don't bite the mailman, sweetie; there might be a check."
11. "You don't like where he peed? Call a cop!"
12. "Bedtime! Into the crate!"
13. "No, don't scratch that rug! Scratch the cheap one!"
14. "Don't eat mud!"
15. "He's running around naked, but that's okay."
16. "Skunks are worse than bears, man. At least my boy doesn't think he can beat a bear."
17. "It's the middle of the afternoon; why aren't you sleeping?"
18. "Don't put your nose in my mouth."
19. "Just show me where you pooped."
20. "Don't jump on your brother's head."
21. "How much more trouble would you be if we hadn't had you neutered?"
22. "No cheese for you!"
23. "Whoa, you need a bath! Come on outside."
24. "Who's a good boy? You you you you!"
25. "Does baby want a nice piece of cheese?"