Readin', 'ritin', and robots.

I was able to log on to ChatGPT. With so much yakkin' about how white-collar jobs are at risk and how the Hollywood writers are going to be replaced by AI, I figured I ought to see if I could be replaced as well. So I asked the enigmatic computer brain a question: 

"Can you generate a blog post in the style of http://vitaminfred.blogspot.com/?"

Here is what it wrote: 

Title: Exploring the Enigmatic World of Color: A Journey through Chromatic Wonders

Introduction:

Welcome, dear readers, to a delightful expedition into the captivating realm of color! Today, we embark on a visual adventure that will awaken your senses and leave you in awe of the intricate tapestry of hues that surround us. From the vivid brilliance of the morning sun to the subtle interplay of shades in a dew-kissed flower, color is an ever-present companion, enriching our lives in countless ways.

Chapter 1: The Language of Color

Before delving deeper into the wonders of color, let us first understand its language. Just like words, colors convey messages and elicit emotions. Red symbolizes passion and energy, while blue evokes tranquility and peace. Yellow radiates warmth and happiness, and green represents growth and harmony. Each color carries a unique essence, and when combined, they create a symphony that dances upon the canvas of our perception.

Chapter 2: The Science of Chromatic Splendor

While color is undoubtedly a feast for the eyes, its beauty is rooted in scientific marvels. Light waves interact with objects, absorbing and reflecting certain wavelengths, thereby producing the myriad of colors we witness. The intricate interplay of pigments, prisms, and receptors within our eyes bestows upon us the ability to perceive the kaleidoscope of the visible spectrum. From Isaac Newton's experiments with light to the modern-day understanding of color theory, science has unraveled the secrets behind this enchanting phenomenon.

Chapter 3: Colors in Cultures and Symbolism

Beyond the realm of science, color holds profound cultural significance and symbolism. Cultures across the globe assign unique meanings to different hues. In some ancient civilizations, such as Egypt and China, colors held sacred connotations associated with deities and spiritual beliefs. The symbolism of color can also be seen in contemporary society, where green signifies environmental awareness and purple represents creativity and royalty. Exploring the multifaceted tapestry of color symbolism unveils a rich tapestry of human expression and connection.

Chapter 4: Color in Art and Design

Artists and designers have long harnessed the power of color to evoke emotions and create masterpieces that stir the soul. From the vibrant strokes of Vincent van Gogh to the mesmerizing color schemes of Piet Mondrian, artists throughout history have utilized color as a primary tool for self-expression. Moreover, in the realm of design, colors play a pivotal role in shaping our perceptions and experiences. From the vibrant hues of a website to the carefully curated color palette of an interior space, color choices have the ability to influence our moods, behaviors, and overall well-being.

Chapter 5: Color Psychology: Unveiling the Hidden Impact

In addition to their aesthetic allure, colors also possess psychological implications that can impact our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Color psychology explores how different hues can influence our mood, cognition, and even physical sensations. For instance, the color blue has a calming effect, making it ideal for promoting relaxation in bedrooms or office spaces. On the other hand, restaurants often employ warm shades like red and orange to stimulate appetite and create a lively atmosphere. Understanding the subtle nuances of color psychology empowers us to craft environments that evoke the desired responses.

Conclusion:

As our vibrant voyage through the world of color comes to a close, we are left with a profound appreciation for the kaleidoscope of hues that grace our lives. From the scientific intricacies to the cultural significance, color is a language that transcends boundaries and unites humanity in its shared visual experience. So, let us embrace the beauty that surrounds us, and allow color to illuminate our world, one vibrant shade at a time.

BOR-RING! This is terrible! I hope you didn't try to slog your way through all that. What a hack job! Did it invent any information, as with lesser documents like court filings? No, I don't think so, although its statements on the topic of color and psychology range from the banal to the questionable. 

I hope I need not point out how unlike my normal blog posts this is, as well. Where are the complaints? The bad jokes? The pithiness? There's not a bit of pith. Sentences like "we embark on a visual adventure that will awaken your senses and leave you in awe of the intricate tapestry of hues that surround us" are serviceable, yes, but read like a high schooler with a thesaurus who's trying to get to a mandatory article length. I'm surprised it didn't finish Lucy Van Pelt style with "The very very very end." 

And if ChatGPT had a look at the URL I'd provided, it would have gleaned the usual topics I address. Instead of a mundane school essay on color, it would have bitched about work, chuckled over the dog, talked about food, whined about the Mets, delved into religion or books, raged against political correctness, complained about the culture in general... In short, any of my usual hobbyhorses. Instead it grabbed for a basic, boring school essay subject. 

So I don't expect AI to replace bloggers anytime soon. 

Then again, since few of us (certainly not I) make any dough at it, there's no reason to sic machine learning on the blog oeuvre. But there is money in movie scripts, so I expect AI to get involved in that. All they have to do is dumb it down enough to think like a Hollywood writer:

🎥🎥🎥

Writer 1: Okay, so then the hero goes with the chick to investigate the crime.

Writer 2: Right, but you know what would be cool? If, on his way there, the girl pulls a knife on him and tells him she knows his real name is Lars and he's a Swedish spy.

Writer 1: But it's not and he's not.

Writer 2: And they struggle, then he crashes the car through the side of a glass building, trying to stop her from stabbing him. Pow! Crash! They come out the other side, wrestling for the knife, while the car goes out of control.

Writer 1: This has nothing to do with the plot.

Writer 2: And then the car crashes through a guardrail on an overpass...

Writer 1: Designed specifically to prevent that...

Writer 2: ...with concrete and metal and glass flying everywhere! 

Writer 1: No airbag deployment?

Writer 2: And they land on the back of a semi shooting down the highway as it barely clears the overpass...

Writer: And the truck driver notices nothing. 

Writer 2: ...and while they fight the next overpass is coming up...

Writer 1: This makes no sense! It's completely stupid! It has nothing to do with anything!

Writer 2: It will look SO COOL IN IMAX!

Writer 1: ....

Writer 1: Okay, what happens next?

🎥🎥🎥

You can't tell me a chatbot is incapable of that. 

Boss battle.

You know, every month is like a level in a classic video game. Your little character goes along with his little bundle of tricks, looking to earn points and powerups along the way. As he goes, he must overcome obstacles (work) and combat enemies (bills). Some of the enemies will be mere nuisances, like the water bill, and some will be more serious, like the utility bill at the height of winter or summer. You can get past those, but you have to be careful. You don't want to use up all your power on the little guys, because you know at the end of the level (the month), you have the boss battle waiting. 

Repeat twelve times, and that's the game for the year. If, like a lot of us. December is the month in which you spend the most, consider that the endgame boss battle. Yeah, it's lame to have the same boss to fight every month, and technically those Christmas bills on the credit card will come due in January, but do you want to enjoy a nice metaphor or get into an argument? 

The level/month analogy does make sense, in that a mortgage or rent payment comes at the end of the month and is traditionally the highest monthly bill most of us face. I say traditionally because some people really have a problem with credit card debt, some people are getting murdered by the IRS, some people have teenagers and a phone bill that is mindboggling, and so on. But the roof over your head is supposed to cost 25 to 30% of what you bring home, and if it's more than that, well, welcome to 2023. 

Now, having defended my metaphor, I'll tear it down.

🎮Videogames are fun. People like them because they're challenging. No one likes a bill that's challenging. 

🎮A gamer playing a level that's easy calls it boring. No one calls a month of lighter-than-average bills boring. 

🎮Rich people have accountants pay their bills for them. While the strange phenomenon of watching other people play videogames is indeed a thing, no one pays someone to play Call of Duty because he just can't be bothered to do it himself. 

On the other hand, if paying bills has become too easy -- say, we got a better job -- we take steps to bring the challenge back to it. We buy a house, or a bigger house, or get married, or have a child, or redecorate, or renovate, or buy a boat, or take up cocaine, and next thing you know, paying bills becomes a challenge all over again. I swear, human beings will tolerate almost anything rather than face boredom.

Spending too much time with others.

I sometimes do editorial work for a publisher of schoolbooks. Their books will be on a single topic, and I'll have a couple of weeks to get the book checked and cleaned up. I'm not always interested in the topic, but I don't mind the work. The publisher pays a fair rate, pays promptly, and the experience is quite educational. 

Alas, there is one thing about the assignments that bothers me. Simply put, by the end of the two-week period, I am so sick of the topic that I wish I'd never heard of it. 

Let's say that the publisher wanted to put out a book on Frederick William III of Prussia, one of the better known Fredericks. This would not happen, because no American schoolbook publisher will ever want to put out a book on Frederick William III of Prussia, and in fact most dead white guys are not getting so many books these days. I use it for an example because it is not going to come up.

Here's ol' Freddy Bill Trois now.

At first I am fascinated by many of the things I did not know. Reigned for almost 43 years! Was a shy kid! Wouldn't use personal pronouns! Was a fiscal reformer! Attempted to unify the Protestant churches of Prussia under royal control! Got his heinie kicked by Napoleon! Married a woman named Auguste, who was born in August! What a fascinating window into the progress of Central European political life concurrent with the early days of the American Republic. 

After the first week, I've had about as much of Prussia and its kings as I think I'll ever want. 

So now I'm discovering that Freddy B never lost his fear of Jacobinism taking over as in France, and that while he was willing to reform the high levels of the civil service was dedicated to holding on to royal privilege, and I'm starting to wonder what I ever saw in this project. The king is thought to have suffered from an inferiority complex, and I'm beginning to find it justified. Sucking up to the tsar never works out the way you think it will in the long run. As week 2 progresses, the book's subject begins to feel like an overnight guest who thought he was invited to stay the summer, and I have to find a way to get rid of him short of murder. 

The final days before deadline are the worst, as I go back to deep-dive for the information I had trouble confirming on the first passes, only to find that the book's author took them from biographies of Frederick William II or Frederick William IV by mistake, and now I'm perfectly content to kill the author along with the king. If they do not get out of my life at the deadline day, I may just set off an explosive and take them with me. 

At last, the job is done, and Frederick William III is gone from my life for good. In the meantime I have learned a number of things about Germany and European royalty and the Napoleonic era, and I feel a bit more erudite. 

And so it has always been with me and education, since I was a bitty little Fred learning to read: The journey is worth the effort, but the effort sometimes feels like it may be fatal.

Boredom and dumbdom.

Many commenters, including our commenting pal P.L. Woodstock, have surmised that one reason the recent peaceful protests turned into an orgy of violence and destruction so quickly is that being holed up for months due to Chinese Death Virus caused a crush of animal spirits to be sprung on the cities of America. People have been so frustrated and angry at things beyond their control that something, somewhere had to give. I believe it. I also believe there are bad actors who wanted to use the genuine outpouring of outrage to vicious ends, but let's give frustration its due as a major contributing factor. That and boredom.

I am convinced that boredom is very much underestimated as a motivating force for humans, both human achievement as well as human destruction. It sure doesn't look pretty.

Get a job, kid.

Just on a small, personal scale, boredom can cause all kinds of trouble. Bored with eating healthy (as who wouldn't be)? Obesity and diabetes and such. Bored with your spouse? Infidelity and lawyers and court orders. Bored with the ol' nine-to-five? Embezzlement and arrests and lawyers and ugly orange jumpsuits.

Boredom can be a positive thing, too. Maybe some theoretical scientists would enjoy thinking deep thoughts for laughs, but I suspect that if engineers weren't bored by regular tasks they wouldn't tinker and try to make new and useful inventions. Really, if you have food, clothing, shelter, and a reasonable expectation you won't be killed, why bother with anything? You could lay around in your spare time. But boredom impels us to find something interesting.

An article in a former newspaper called the New York Times made me think a little more about this; it examines the benefits of repeating familiar experience vs. encountering novel experience. And there are benefits to the former, because we do not process everything the first time around. I dislike seeing movies over and over, but if I watch one I haven't seen in a while I always see something I'd missed. That's even more true for day-to-day experience, as no day is exactly like another, as much as it may feel that way when you pull into the company parking lot on Monday morning. Heraclitus's famous quote, that you never step into the same river twice, still applies. Everything in life is in flux. But it doesn't feel that way, especially when you've stepped into that not-same-but-kind-of-same river a hundred times.

Boredom seems like it should be just a non-motivator, a big nothing. And indeed bored people can find it hard to get motivated by almost anything, a situation that smacks of depression. But boredom is not a mere nothing. It feels like a heavy weight, and that's something. It also has a powerful partner in frustration. Where one is the other generally follows.

It may be that boredom is the main impulse for so many of our advances. Maslow's hierarchy of needs tells us Safety First, but something impels us past the point of safety. Those upper tiers of the pyramid must allow for the fact that boredom and other impulses may drive us to sacrifice the lower basic needs.

Why did the human race ever keep moving till it covered the globe? Was it all just because food ran out here or the weather got bad there? Was it turf wars with other tribes, or resentments within our own? Or were we sometimes just sick of looking at one another and wondered what else might be over yonder?

The problem is, the really creative ways of relieving boredom, the ones that lead to advancement, are difficult, and may require talents and skills we don't have, like musical gifts, analytical thinking, navigation, a knack for math or looking at problems different ways. But setting crap on fire, beating someone to a pulp, or breaking windows? That stuff is easy.

Like so many things, it's hard to build straight with the crooked timber of humanity. Our flaws are inextricably tied to our virtues. Sometimes I wish things were better than they were, but a lot of the time I'm surprised things things aren't a lot worse.

Quarantine Day 149? Or Something.

I look at the walls
The walls look back at me
I say to them "Hi, walls"
But the walls say nothing

War on COVID
Conscientious objector

Time for a snack
Down to the rice cakes
Not even the cinnamon ones
War is hell

Could go out to the store
Whom am I kidding?
I even got TP
Don't look pathetic
It's even worse than desperate

6266 confirmed in the county
That's a lot of sick people
Where are they hiding?
Stay away from me, sick people
I resist the siren call to join your ranks

Lookit people going for the mail
Wearing pajama pants!
Har har hardy har har!
I would never do that!

Temperature? Feels good
No fever
Cough! Oh no!

False alarm
Swallowed funny

Time for a nap
Still tired from
My last nap

Daytime TV!
Shoot me now

Look out the window
Some people coming down
Opposite sides of the street
Chicken!
Left side blinks
Moves across street

Don't wave to each other!
That could spread germs

Can you catch a virus from Zoom?
Computer virus
Ha Ha
I need a life

Memo to me:
Buy some pajamas
They look comfy

I guess I'll know I'm going nuts
When the walls talk back to me

Room and bored.

Since my return from the hospital last Tuesday, I have been limited in what I can do. I can only walk around for about five minutes before pain begins to grip my leg and I must sit down. I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting, ought to limit driving, and I must be cautious on ramps and stairs. And so on. I'm seeing two doctors this week, who may be able to help, but meanwhile it's restricted activity for me.

And the dogs are driving us crazy.

My wife has been doing an ace job with them, all the things I usually do plus all the things she usually does. Slowly I've taken some of the easier jobs, like feeding and a late-evening send-out, but we don't have free-range dogs here. No fences, plenty of dog-hating neighbors. They need an overseer, if not an escort.

It usually takes both of us to get them enough activity on an average day, and my wife's at-home job is much more demanding, especially time-wise, than mine. So usually it is I who roughhouses, walks, and generally goofs around with them, and it's just out of the question now. So our bored dogs are spending large chunks of time whining and fussing and causing irritation all around.

Fortunately there are plenty of tips for how to keep a dog occupied, such as this list here, but most of them require things like human activity, which is in short supply at the moment. Or they may recommend one of those treat-containing puzzle toys, which you may recall occupies my big bruisers for approximately two minutes, tops. They also don't play with toys on their own very much, except for Junior Varsity Dog Nipper, and with only one toy -- an old collar of his. He loves to lick and chew it. He thinks he tastes great.

Other options include leaving the front door open with the storm door closed, or as we call it, Dog TV.  And we do that, although it leads more often to random attacks of barkage, which is bad if my wife has a phone meeting. Or we could consider installing an Invisible Fence, or hiring a dog walker to break up the day, but anything that involves a steady or large financial outlay at this time, with hospital bills amassing on the horizon, seems like a poor idea.

We're doing our best to keep things normal, but it's hard. They know something is up, but they can't understand what, or why. You could explain to a small child that Daddy is hurt and is trying to get better, but dogs don't understand. Once again we are let down by the fact that our wonderful pets cannot speak English.