Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Boss battle.

You know, every month is like a level in a classic video game. Your little character goes along with his little bundle of tricks, looking to earn points and powerups along the way. As he goes, he must overcome obstacles (work) and combat enemies (bills). Some of the enemies will be mere nuisances, like the water bill, and some will be more serious, like the utility bill at the height of winter or summer. You can get past those, but you have to be careful. You don't want to use up all your power on the little guys, because you know at the end of the level (the month), you have the boss battle waiting. 


Repeat twelve times, and that's the game for the year. If, like a lot of us. December is the month in which you spend the most, consider that the endgame boss battle. Yeah, it's lame to have the same boss to fight every month, and technically those Christmas bills on the credit card will come due in January, but do you want to enjoy a nice metaphor or get into an argument? 

The level/month analogy does make sense, in that a mortgage or rent payment comes at the end of the month and is traditionally the highest monthly bill most of us face. I say traditionally because some people really have a problem with credit card debt, some people are getting murdered by the IRS, some people have teenagers and a phone bill that is mindboggling, and so on. But the roof over your head is supposed to cost 25 to 30% of what you bring home, and if it's more than that, well, welcome to 2023. 

Now, having defended my metaphor, I'll tear it down.

🎮Videogames are fun. People like them because they're challenging. No one likes a bill that's challenging. 
🎮A gamer playing a level that's easy calls it boring. No one calls a month of lighter-than-average bills boring. 
🎮Rich people have accountants pay their bills for them. While the strange phenomenon of watching other people play videogames is indeed a thing, no one pays someone to play Call of Duty because he just can't be bothered to do it himself. 

On the other hand, if paying bills has become too easy -- say, we got a better job -- we take steps to bring the challenge back to it. We buy a house, or a bigger house, or get married, or have a child, or redecorate, or renovate, or buy a boat, or take up cocaine, and next thing you know, paying bills becomes a challenge all over again. I swear, human beings will tolerate almost anything rather than face boredom.

1 comment:

peacelovewoodstock said...

Once our bank was offering mortgage loans with no interest, so I had to go in to ask about it, I told the manager why I had come in, and he said "I don't care".