Special offer!

Hello, smart investors! It's me again, your ol' pal Fred, CEO of Fredcoin, the world's greatest cryptocurrency! And today I have an exciting offer that you'll only find right here on your daily dose of Vitamin Fred!

Yes, we know everyone is worried about the plunging value of those other, rotten cryptos, which goes right along with the plunging value but rising costs of everything else. But here at Fredcoin, we believe in giving you the very best offer we can. We're still selling at a bargain 1-to-1 value with the U.S. dollar, so every Fredcoin costs just a buck. But wait! That's not even the good part! 

Here it is: Today and today only, for every 100,000 Fredcoin you purchase, you'll get 1 Fredcoin absolutely gratis! On the house! Freebie! No cost to you! Nada! One Fredcoin for nothing! Beat THAT deal!

You can't, especially not with those crooks over at HodagCoin.

I would never cast aspersions on a worthy competitor, so I'm free to do so now. HodagCoin is garbage. They sicken me. Don't consider it! Don't even think about it! I'm sorry I mentioned it. 

But to reiterate: You get 1 whole free Fredcoin with the purchase of 100,000 Fredcoins. How can you pass up a deal like that? A smarty like you? No way! See you on the trading floor!