Blurry.

I had bad night of sleep, lots of work, and a long drive out and back, and I was ready for a nap. Once I knew the dogs would nap for a while too, I silenced my phone and crashed on the couch, face to the bolsters. I didn't move for almost two hours. 

When I got up, the vision in my right eye was blurry. Like, really blurry. Like, twelve martinis blurry. 

It wasn't hard to guess that I had smushed (to use a medical term) my eyeball by falling into a coma on it. I even had a red pillow mark like an angry villain scar running from my forehead diagonally over the eye. It persisted, however, making it difficult to do the editorial work that helps pay the bills. Could it be just smushing that caused this?

To the Internet! Which, of course, was a mistake.

In no time I found out that waking up with blurry vision in one eye meant that I had suffered:

👀 Glaucoma 

👀 Eye tumor

👀 Stroke

👀 Cataract

👀 Migraine

👀 Eye infection

👀 Tear-duct trauma

👀 Concussion

👀 Diabetes

👀 Macular degeneration (wet or dry)

But I didn't see anything about eyeball smushing. Of course, I didn't see anything clearly with my right eye at all. 

Well, it was a good excuse to knock off for the day, which I did. And I'm glad to report that this morning all is normal. I guess my eyeball reasserted its usual shape, or else I got over my glaucoma, tumor, stroke, etc. 

Remember the kid in Kindergarten Cop who immediately diagnosed Arnold with a brain tumor?

I'm convinced that kid grew up to create WebMD.