The anti-microwave mob.

The anti-microwave mob struck again on Wednesday, in this story in the New York Post: 

Science proves that microwaves suck at almost everything

Microwaves are one of those modern conveniences that everyone uses but that nobody is particularly fond of. I mean let’s be real here, you know that heating stuff up on your stove is the better way to do it, but the microwave is just so much faster, so you sacrifice quality in the name of speed. Now, science has proven that microwaves do indeed suck, even if you’re just heating up a cup of water.

To which I reply: Sez you! Yes, it's true that a steak cooked in a microwave can be carved into a pair of Crocs, and those so-called microwave cakes are usually indistinguishable from hockey pucks, and nothing ever really gets crisp with microwave cooking. But is that all there is to life?

My dad was nervous about microwave ovens, so I didn't grow up with one. Because of that I think I am more liable to see their advantages, which chefs and other gourmets miss out on because they were using microwave ovens for their Hot Pockets from a tender age.

For example: I mentioned rice yesterday in my tale of the blackout. This was the only time I have had trouble with cooking rice in the microwave, and it required a major tropical storm and loss of power. It normally comes out perfect.

Steaming vegetables is easy in a microwave oven as well. You can overcook them, but you can do that in a vegetable steamer or a steamer basket too if you're not careful.

Popcorn is famously easy in a microwave. Don't let people get you down about supposed health concerns. Like most fears about "chemicals" (those mysterious things that seek to harm us), they probably are harmless unless you eat eleven bags of the stuff a day, lick the bags, and lick the inside of the microwave as well.

And leftovers are much better when you have a microwave oven. Mashed potatoes reheat poorly any other way. My mother used to make them into potato pancakes, and to this day I dislike potato pancakes. I'll admit that your leftover pizza becomes soggy in the microwave -- so use the oven if you're not in a hurry. Most of us don't want to make a production number out of last night's Domino's.

It melts butter. It melts chocolate. It's pretty good at poaching eggs. It's a modern wonder.

You know what else cooks up well in the ol' nukeatron? Pasta.

The Fasta Pasta is another gimmick my wife bought into, and it works like a charm. Almost any kind of pasta can be cooked easily in the microwave using the rectangular bowl. The lid is used for straining. Unlike pasta on the stove top, you don't have to keep an eye on it while it's cooking.

It doesn't work well with angel hair and other very thin pasta, which gets clumpy too easily; also, it only holds about eight ounces of pasta, not a whole pound. You don't need the Fasta Pasta to nuke pasta; any bowl of water would work, but this gives you a measurement chart and of course is the perfect shape for long spaghetti-like pasta.

So take that, Post! Your anti-microwave boffins have painted with a brush that is too broad and too open to error. Twenty lashes with a properly microwave noodle for you.