Saturday, August 29, 2020

Constantinople Mostly Peaceful.

AP (Monday, May 29, 1453): CONSTANTINOPLE -- After 55 days of unrest outside the capital of the Byzantine Empire, 80,000 mostly peaceful protesters breached the walls of Constantinople to demonstrate their displeasure with the corrupt officials in charge. Protesters reportedly were accompanied by aquatic dissenters in more than 130 boats of various types. 

The wrangling between Catholic and Orthodox church authorities was considered the responsible cause of the disruption in the city. The protesters, largely of the Ottoman minority, stated their concerns in no small way, feeling compelled ultimately to enter the area in unusual fashion and demand a voice in control of the municipal government.

"This has been a long time in coming," said Mehmed II, speaking to reporters on behalf of his constituents. "We have been patient long enough."


mostly peaceful
Reports that many valuable objects connected with denominational use went missing during the disruption, but it was not clear who if anyone was responsible.

During the mostly peaceful rally, some four thousand cloistered persons with cervices found themselves engaging in involuntary sexual actions, following which their heads were removed, but no group took responsibility for any involvement at press time.

By the end of the day, the city was said to be in control of the protesters, who declared that peace had been restored.

"This has been a great day for the freedom of oppressed people," said Mr. Mehmed II, joined by a young man named Jacob Notaras at the former Hagia Sophia. "They shall sing for many years to come that every gal in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople."

3 comments:

Mongo919 said...

Spot on, sir! You sure you don't work for the NYT? They'd make Vlad the Impaler into a People's Spokesman!

bgbear said...

Looting and pillaging is very liberating, a feeling of what might be in an equal and just world.

FredKey said...

I think you should breathe into the Hunalizer, Bear....