Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Things not yet destroyed in the movies.

Possible spoilers below.

In the movies we’ve seen lots of things annihilated. Buildings, like the White House, the Taj Mahal, St. Peter's Basilica, and anything Michael Bay can photograph. Areas, like midtown Manhattan (The Avengers) and the financial sector (Fight Club). Cities, like New York City, Los Angeles, and DC. Half the universe is wiped out in the Marvel movies (but it got better). And of course the entire planet Earth is destroyed occasionally (e.g.: Doctor Strangelove). Yes, widespread death and destruction -- that’s entertainment!

Earth-shattering kaboom.

Particularly New York. As I’ve noted before, New York is always getting it in the neck. But not this time! I hear that in the current Godzilla film, Godzilla and his little friends take it out on Boston. Yankees fans are all saying "Go, go, Godzilla!"

It got me wondering what has not been destroyed in the movies. (I mean, aside from when the whole planet is destroyed.) I couldn’t think of much. Here’s a few things that Hollywood has yet to annihilate as far as I know:

Death Valley (already dead!)

the Dead Sea (ditto!)

Detroit (same! har)

Facebook

My house

The White Castle on 59 in Nanuet

Saskatchewan

Kansas City, Kansas (but Kansas City, Missouri? shot to hell)

Velveeta

One short, ugly overpass in Cleveland

The dumb joke about the frog who wants a loan from Patty Black

Angelina Jolie’s lips

Barbra Streisand's mansion

Jeff Bezos's Great Wall of Money

The Falklands

The main post office in Esch, Luxembourg

Anything owned by Disney

This rock [holds up rock]

The one plot that every summer blockbuster has

Bad taste

Stupidity

5 comments:

Mongo919 said...

OK, you made me Google the frog/Patty Black joke. I'm a frayed knot.

FredKey said...

Gah! Mongo, you just helped keep that joke alive!

peacelovewoodstock said...

Do not let that joke fall into the hands of Stephan Pastis!

FredKey said...

PLW, if it were not so old I would swear Pastis wrote that joke.

Stiiv said...

"I'm shocked that such old, hoary jokes are allowed here!" - Mike Haack