My Epiphany.

Well, we've made it through Christmas! Except not yet. Today, January 6, is the Epiphany, except we're celebrating it at Mass tomorrow, so I guess Christmas gets an extra day.

The thirteenth day of Christmas! What will my true love give to me?

Thirteen tubaists tuba-atin'!

So, the time has come to reflect on the Christmas season, from Thanksgiving through Advent through Christmas to New Year's to Epiphany. What have we learned? Did we do what we set out to do? Were we spiritually enriched? Did we get the loot we wanted from Santa Claus?

So here's my checklist. Let's see how I did!

A Charlie Brown Christmas: Saw it... sort of. Got to Charlie and Linus being dispatched to get a tree; came back while the kids were singing. Why? Dogs had to go out. And remember, you can't spell dawdle without daw...g. Something like that. No, you can't just see half the special and earn the star. 🚫

Cookies: Cut it down to three batches this year, and an experimental sugar cookie that was a failed experiment. Don't follow recipes from strange Polish ladies. 🚫

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Had no idea when it was on. Had no idea if it was on. 🚫

Church attendance: Made it to Mass for each Sunday of Advent, for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, and for Christmas. Since the Fourth Sunday of Advent was the day before Christmas, we wound up going to Mass twice on Christmas Eve Day. So, we did all right, although I feel bad that we didn't go to church on January 1, the Solemnity of Mary. It's a day of obligation, but was abrogated as it fell on a Monday. It would have been nice to go, though. Well, I guess I get a star anyway for each correct observance.  ✨✨✨✨✨

Decorations: Did not get the whole megillah up this year because of ongoing home improvements, but what was got up was up on time. Docked a little for the lower level festivities -- but turned into a fail when I knocked the little Christmas tree off a table in my wife's office. Thought I had clearance for that file drawer....Four ornaments didn't make it. Sad! 🚫

Charity: Way down this year because of the above-mentioned home improvements. I'm all in favor of giving till it hurts, but after you've paid a half dozen contractors you're already in pain. Still, we have to go by achievements. 🚫

Rankin-Bass: Didn't see any of these, not one. The only one I knew was being broadcast was Rudolph, which is the poorest of the bunch, albeit the inadvertently funniest. Although it does have Yukon Cornelius, who rocks. Oh, skip it. Fail. 🚫

Cards: Got them all out in time! With handwritten greetings! Complained about others' junk-mail type cards but not to their faces.✨

Music: Played just one Christmas album this year -- one! One time! 🚫

A Christmas Story: Ralphie got his gun, and I was there! ✨

Spiritual enrichment: Nope. I failed. Had planned to read some George MacDonald essays throughout Advent; never cracked the cover. Big fail, equal to one little fail for each week. 🚫🚫🚫🚫

Dinner: I cooked Christmas dinner, did a tenderloin roast. It was okay, but set off all the smoke alarms. Annoyed the people, terrified the dogs. 🚫

Presents: Got what I wanted! But do I get a star for this, being as how I have already been rewarded? Yes, I do. It comes with the present. It means Santa thought I was a good boy, right? ✨

Presents: If people hated what I have them, they kept it to themselves. Not that anyone raved over what I gave them. In fact, they didn't say much unless prompted. Crap! 🚫

Thin Man marathon: Turner Classic has been running all six movies on New Year's Eve for years, and as usual we made it through the first two movies. One day I'll find out who the killer is in the third movie. ✨

Final score:

✨ = 9
🚫 = 13

Oh, shoot. Maybe like Charlie-in-the-Box, I'll go to bed and dream about next year.

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UPDATE: Mr. Philbin asks if I made it to Confession during Advent. DAMMIT  🚫