Tips.

I tip the mail guy at Christmas. Oh, why not. He's got a big route. He delivers freelance checks for me. He brings packages. He brings bills. Not his fault. He's okay. Merry Christmas.

A friend of mine was a mailman in the early 1970s. Back then the standard mailman tip was a bottle of Scotch. He made out like a bandit. Kept him hammered through Easter.

But things have changed now, and gift cards are more appropriate, I think. According to the United States Postal Service Web site, carriers are not allowed to accept cash or cash equivalents (gift cards that can be turned into cash, for example, or poker chips from the local casino). They can accept gifts worth up to $20. So, maybe cheap Scotch is still acceptable.

I don't know if there are limits to the amount you can give your sanitation crew. They're not federal employees, so probably not. I don't think my town has any concerns about it. I don't think enough people think to tip the trash men to make it an issue.

I've seen these guys at it in all weather, and they work fast and they work hard. Sanitation work is extremely important to a healthy society, just like clean water -- and like clean water, we have a tendency to take it for granted. We ought to appreciate it more.

Plus -- and not to put too fine a point on it -- garbage stinks.

"Rookie."

So if you can, and if they do good work, tip your garbage collectors this Christmas. I sure as heck wouldn't want to do that job.

I mean, I clean up a lot of bad writing, but it doesn't hurt my back, and I don't have to take a shower afterward. Come to think of it, I never get tips, either.