Friday, December 29, 2017

Next on Hallmark.

The Hallmark Channel presents Valentine's Date, a sequel to its Christmas film Christmas Date!




[Scene: The Christmas Shoppe, morning. The Christmas bells over the door jingle as PHYLLIS enters. ZEKE, a handsome young man with two days' worth of beard, is already behind the counter, painstaking assembling a gingerbread castle.]

Zeke: Good morning, Snowflake! How are you today?

Phyllis: Don’t call me Snowflake.

Zeke: Candy Cane?

Phyllis: No.

Zeke: Elfy Welfy?

Phyllis: Zeke, knock it off. I’m not in the mood. (Throws coat on counter)

Zeke: Ooh, someone’s being an icicle today.

Phyllis: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Zeke: (Puts down a gingerbread brick) How about a nice peppermint hot cocoa?

Phyllis: Oh, God, no!

Zeke: Okay, what’s wrong?

Phyllis: Oh, I don’t know…I mean I guess…I’m sorry, Zeke, but I’m…

Zeke: What? What is it, Fruitcake?

Phyllis: Zeke!

Zeke: Sorry, sorry.

Phyllis: It’s that… I’m tired of Christmas, okay?

Zeke: (gasps) No!

Phyllis: I know, I know, you taught me to love Christmas again and I fell for you…

Zeke: Yes, that’s right! Less than two months ago you were a mean, hard-bitten executive for Smashola Corporation looking to destroy our plucky little year-round Christmas store for the new Smashola headquarters.

Phyllis: Right, until you taught me that just because I didn’t get the bike I wanted when I was a kid---

Zeke: I thought it was the Barbie Malibu house.

Phyllis: That too. I had a long list. Never mind... That just because of that I should never have soured on Christmas, and you were right.

Zeke: See? And now you work with me and we’re going to be married! So what’s wrong?

Phyllis: It’s February 11th, Zeke! I am sick of snow, I am sick of mistletoe, I am sick of picking up pine needles, and I am sick of Christmas! (bawls)

Zeke: Aw, come on, Phyllis, it’s not that bad. Don’t tell me you miss the soulless life of a corporate lawyer.

Phyllis: No, but I miss the Audi.

Zeke: You remember what I told you about that?

Phyllis: “We’ll always have our sleigh.” Yeah.

Zeke: You laughed at that.

Phyllis: Until the first time we got a busted runner. Look, Zeke, this isn’t working out.

Zeke: Come on, Sugarplum.

Phyllis: Damn it!

Zeke: Let’s have some sugar cookies and talk this out.

Phyllis: Does everything have to be Christmas with you? All the time? Cookies and stockings and reindeer and Santa caps and twinkly lights and AAAAAAARRRRGH!

Zeke: But you said you loved my family’s store!

Phyllis: I do… but can’t you do other holidays too?

Zeke: Other? Holidays?

Phyllis: So you might have some customers? Like in July?

Zeke: But Old Mrs. Hawkins comes in once a week to buy gingerbread… Old Mr. Peabody likes to get some tinsel now and then?

Phyllis: Did you go over the books like I told you?

Zeke: Sure, I went over lots of books. A Christmas Carol, The Christmas Box, The Christmas Shoes, The Christmas Dog...

Phyllis: You know what? Never mind. (grabs coat)

Zeke: Where are you going?

Phyllis: (mumbling) To see if I can swing a used RS5.

[Scene: Street in front of Zeke’s store. As Phyllis emerges she runs into Pete, carrying three dozen roses. She and PETE, a handsome young man with three days' worth of beard, stumble into a comical embrace.]

Phyllis: Oh, sorry!

Pete: (smiles) I’m not.

Phyllis: I’m Phyllis.

Pete: Pete Lulubelle.

Phyllis: What’s with all the roses? There’s not a single thorn!

Pete: We never let a rose leave the shop with a single blemished petal or prickly thorn. I guess we’re old-fashioned that way, but I am the fourth generation of Lulubelle florists.

Phyllis: That’s quite a name! Where’s your shop?

Pete: Just down a couple of blocks. It’s called the Valentine’s Day Store. We've been--- Hey! Phyllis?

[Phyllis seen running as fast as she can in corporate lawyer heels the other way. End Act I.]

[Commercial break: Ad for the upcoming April Hallmark Channel film event, Arbor Date!]

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