Dips and drips.

As long as there have been people and language, there have been ways to call people losers. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. 

English has a very impressive list of synonyms for losers. For starters, Merriam-Webster gives us disaster, failure, catastrophe, disappointment, bust, flop, washout, bomb, fiasco, has-been, mess, lemon, miss, dud, shipwreck, debacle, clunker, turkey, débâcle, bummer, fizzle, clinker, frost, also-ran, dog, hash, shambles, botch, near miss, nonevent, nonstarter, muddle. That doesn't include others like never-was, failure to launch, useless, trainwreck, wet match, doofus, wet lettuce, dip, and drip. Also, fill in your own favorite. To the connoisseur they have their differences; a turkey is more annoying than an also-ran, a bomb more of a spectacular loser than a near miss. Whether they tried and failed or failed from lack of trying, or even (like the has-been) have enjoyed past success, they have this in common right now: failure. 

Still, there is a lot of overlap between failures and other kinds of problem people. A doofus and a goof might have a lot in common, but it seems that while both are dopey, the goof may be lovable and even stumble into luck. A jerk is often not a loser, but like a bomb, is dangerous in proximity. 

It's funny to me that Merriam-Webster has many words for loser that imply spectacular failure, like catastrophe and shipwreck. Usually we see loserdom as a chronic rather than acute condition. A fiasco may pull things together for another try, but a loser can never win. We may avoid them in real life, but we like them and kind of root for them in the funny pages. Charlie Brown is the best example, but since 1965 the Born Loser has been sharing his hopeless case with the reading public.  

I thought about adding Joe Btfsplk of Li'l Abner to this list, but he's not a just a loser, he's a jinx -- a man whose loserdom is so bad that it extends to those around him. 

Always have some sympathy in real life for the losers you may meet. Sure, some do nothing but loaf, smoke weed, or krex and moan, but others keep plugging even though it's hopeless. Tenacity is a virtue. Besides, the most loveable loser many of us know is staring back out from the mirror, brushing his teeth (and doubtless finding a new cavity). I have read recently that from 1947 to 1950, Jackson Pollock painted in his “drip period.” My drip period has lasted from approximately nursery school to the present day.