Saturday, October 19, 2024

Stunad time.

You know you're getting older when you think of something you have to do and you know you will forget to do it and then it comes up and you forget to do it even though you knew that was exactly what you were going to do. 

Makes me wonder sometimes if I got one of those Abby Normal brains. 


But then I'll come up with a memory of something so far back that I can't believe I pulled it not just out of left field, but out of left field in a ballpark of a foreign country where they don't even know what baseball is. Some core memory, often of a person or place or product, that I wouldn't have recalled on a bet, but that some trigger has set off a memory cascade and there it is. Like one of those guys who remain awake during brain surgery, and when the surgeon pokes him in a particular spot, he remembers the girl with the red sunglasses who tried to get him to take the brown acid fifty-six years ago. He hasn't thought of her since then and is amazed that that datum is still floating around in the attic.

And that's what a lot of people in the hinterland of years will say, that the reason they are forgetful is not senility, but that there's so only so much capacity in the old hard drive and they've been socking data away for decades like the Library of Congress. If it's useless information, well, welcome to the club. A ten-year-old still has lots of data storage available but is using it for character profiles from Dora the Explorer and episode details from Paw Patrol. By now she'd like to offload that for more room, but sorry, kid. No cloud storage available for the brain. 

Another age-related issue I think is misunderstood is falls. Falls are a danger to everyone, but especially old people, and yet they seem to enjoy them, as they fall almost as much as toddlers. But really, why? Poor vision? Muscle loss? No, I think the main reasons are pain and data storage failure. Pain, because even though you've been down those steps a thousand times, that new pain in the hip/knee/foot/back causes an involuntary hitch in the giddyap that ruins your rhythm, and down you go*. Data storage failure, because (and I'm not joking about this) even though you've been down those steps a thousand times, at a crucial second in the journey the brain will toss up Cal Ripken's batting average in his final season** and you will literally forget how many steps you've walked. Your brain will think five but you've done six, so you hit that ground like you're going down another step and blam! Flat. 

Our best bet is to do things more (ugh) mindfully, a word I hate as much as yummy, belly, or inflammation.*** But Mom always did say to stop daydreaming and pay attention. Back then it was so I'd do better in school. Now it's so I don't stumble into the road and die.  

🧠🧠🧠

* I remember a ballplayer with a chronic back injury that ruined his career. He was still strong and otherwise healthy, but the pain would ruin his mechanics. With the strongest will in the world, it is still hard to do something you know will hurt, and when it's something like hitting a baseball -- the most difficult feat in sports -- that little difference makes all the difference.

** .239

***Everything wrong with you is caused by chronic inflammation. Chronic inflammation is because of your bad living. Broken leg? It's because you eat too much bacon, lardass. 

4 comments:

Stiiv said...

>With the strongest will in the world, it is still hard to do something you know will hurt<

Very true. My walks to & from work are like that sometimes. On bad days (nights), I have to give myself extra time to get ready, & then a little more time to allow for slow walking so I don't have breathing distress on the way. It sucks to get old, gang.

Robert said...

Don Mattingly, correct? Coulda been a HoF but for said back. And the 1980s Yankees were not good, on the whole. Dad fell because when he stood up, his blood pressure went down, leaving his body to forget what it was doing.
rbj13

technochitlin said...

I love it that my hands, knees, and ankles have become accurate weather change predictors.

peacelovewoodstock said...

Losing count going down stairs, I don't know which is worse, thinking there's one more step when there isn't, or thinking you have reached the floor when you haven't.

And congratulations to the Yankees, now I will pull for the Mets as I think a subway series will be fun to watch, especially all those fans from the same neighborhoods facing off.