Brisk!

It was cold this morning in New York -- pretty darn cold, I ought to say. 

How Cold Was It?

It was so cold, my antifreeze froze.

It was so cold, Governor Cuomo declared that up to three people would be allowed to eat together at home indoors. 

It was so cold, Chuck Schumer's mouth froze shut and the president declared a national holiday.

It was so cold, Frosty the Snowman decided to move south.

He's kind of a moron, but he's not stupid

It was so cold, Gladys Knight froze her Pips. /Carson

The weird thing was, it was so cold that my wife and I had different Weather Channel app results on two different iPhones. Hers said it was 3 degrees; mine had a balmy 7. Either way, I had to take out the dogs, but I was not taking chances as well. I got my thermal Underoos, my woolly hat and scarf, and a couple of HotHands. These things stay warm for up to ten hours, but I knew I'd be in and out all day, so I just had to put them someplace safe while indoors. I didn't want to leave them on my desk where they might cause a stack of papers to spontaneously combust. 

As I write this at 5:30 a.m., both iPhones say it's supposed to go up to 32 later. That seems like quite a hill for this weather to climb. Thirty-two would feel like a day at the beach compared to my first trip out. 

At least it isn't windy. That turns a painful chill into a brutal chill. That's the kind of cold a friend of mine would call "Brisk!" back in the day, with a cheerful and slightly insane grin. He would not let mere hypothermia get in the way of a determined pub crawl. 

I hope it's a little warmer where you are. Weather like this could make a guy freeze his BLANK off! /Rayburn