Monday, February 1, 2016


I forced myself to give up Angry Birds Go!, Angry Birds 2, and Candy Crush because I got to levels that appeared to be completely impossible without buying powerups. I really dislike free games that are constantly at you to buy powerups. I'd rather buy the game and be left alone. 

But don't worry; it's not like my colossal amounts of free time will be put to something useful. Lately I've had this: 

Smashy Road: Wanted from Bearbit Studios is an insanely addictive app that encourages you to drive so badly that the armed forces are called out to subdue you. Seriously, tanks.

Your goal is to cause havoc and collect dollar bills that have been left conveniently here and there in town, suburb, and desert environments; when you get 100 dollars you have a chance to get a new car for your garage. (There are currently 90 possible cars.) You set out on the road and start driving poorly, and right away the cops come after you. Then cops in SUVs and choppers. Then army trucks, and army choppers. Then tanks.

Sure, it's fun, but not something you'd want to emulate in real life. In classic video game style, every game eventually ends badly. "Busted" (arrested) or "wasted" (dead).

And here we are, getting busted. 
Like the classic arcade games (thinking of Spy Hunter here), it's just the same thing over and over again, driving until you can't anymore, then Game Over. The real hook is building your garage, and aside from the incessant ads, this is where Bearbit makes some money---if you get frustrated about being unable to win particular cars, you can buy them with real dough. Some of the cars have special powers, which makes it more tempting---Money Man collects cash faster; the Oil Truck lays down oil slicks; the Flipper flips opponents over; and so on. Others vary in speed, endurance, handling, offensive capability, and coolness.

I have 88 of the 90 cars and have been sorely tempted to buy the other two---the Bumbee and the 1967 are just ordinary cars, but I WANT THEM! Got to get them all! I'm starting to think you can't get them unless you buy them. These Common cars (cars are ranked from Common to Legendary) are a buck apiece. It will be interesting to see if my desire wins over my cheapness before boredom or frustration conquers all.

On the whole it's a great game if you have twenty seconds or so to kill. And if you find yourself on the army base, make sure to drive through the barracks or hangars or whatever those buildings are. Ka ching.

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