No cook no cry.

Sorry I've been away from the blog for a few days. I was asked to look at a short book as a favor -- a rush job that didn't pay much but seemed like an important book on economics and national security. And it is, but it was also a horrible mess and took many hours. So, I'm finally done with that, and here I am. 

And I'm here to tell you: All you need is glove. 

The NoCry glove is a machine-washable kitchen glove that supposedly is cut-resistant. It protects the thumb, index, and middle fingers -- three of our most popular fingers.  

It was another Christmas gift. Why? Because I cut off a nice hunk of skin on my left index finger while cooking in November. Bled like crazy. I'm so right-handed that I barely know I have a left hand most of the time, but after I cut the tip I discovered how many times I use that left index finger in the normal course of the day. And that is: A lot.

The white fingers on the gloves are the reinforced cut-resistant ones, so the ring and pinkie fingers are still on their own. The instructions are fairly comical, but they certainly do get across the point that these gloves will not turn you into Iron Man. 

I don't think anyone expected the gloves to make one chain-saw proof, but the warning not to use them with power tools is interesting. If they interfere with your grip, why use them at all? But I suspect the manufacturers just want to warn us off the false sense of security that comes with wearing non-chain-saw-proof gloves while wielding chain saws. I have no idea. 

The interesting thing is, these gloves are a product of Thailand. I've gotten a lot of weird instructions in products from China, but I have to say, I think the Thais beat the Chinese on that front. This cartoon was included in the package: 

Okay, so, the meteorite just missed the dinosaur, and unlike the one that theoretically wiped out the dinos, this one seems to have been made of Nerf and tossed from twelve feet away. But what did it land on? Is there someone in the crater? All we see is a cuffless glove, a tag, and... an electrical wire. (These are not electric gloves.) The little demon uses this as an opportunity to plug (ha!) the extended warranty.

So, do they work? I don't know! I haven't had to chop things lately, and when I did I forgot to try them. I expect they work fine, but I wonder about the loss of manual dexterity from those big square fingers. It may make kitchen work slower and more annoying. On the other hand (maybe literally), the gloves at least keep the chef aware that care is needed -- which itself will help prevent common dangers like Bagel Finger, Avocado Palm, and maybe the worst of all, Mandoline Hand. 

Safety Last! is a great Harold Lloyd thrill comedy, but not a slogan for cooking. Trust me on that.