Friday, August 11, 2023

Stunning archeological find!

I know you think I'm just an editor and writer, spending my days cramped over the computer, pounding out words and nursing phrases to health. Boring, right? Well, that's not the whole story, my friends! Unbeknownst to you, your friend Fred is also a paleontologist and an archeologist! I just do it for laughs; there's not usually a lot of money in that stuff. It's why Indiana Jones had the same hat for fifty years.

But who cares? It's the science and the history that concern us! And that is why I am excited to share with you my latest finding, one that will rock the foundations of academia and change forever the way we think of dinosaurs and prehistoric man! 

You see, it has been a longstanding prejudice by the scientific community that dinosaurs died out 63 million years before the appearance of the first humans. They point to stories like those of famed caveperson Alley Oop, who had a pet dinosaur, as being silly, ahistorical, unscientific. 




Well, I say: Nuts to that! Because I have discovered proof that humans and dinosaurs coexisted. I present to you this cave drawing that I found following extensive and exhaustive research. And digging. Oh, so much digging. My achin' back! But it was worth it. 




Clearly, what we have here is an example of a giant spike-boned dinosaur, similar to Alley Oop's Dinny, as rendered by our primitive ancestors. I submit that this vivid and detailed cave depiction is of the Kentrosaurus genus (Kentrosaurus meaning prickle lizard), which was said to have died out with the late Jurassic. Late Jurassic! As you can see, that's just silly talk.

Obviously the artist had seen one of these magnificent beasts sometime in the paleolithic era. But this stegosaur appears to have a much larger head than most known dinos of its type, a head more suited for carnivorous rather than herbivorous habits. I confess my identification of the animal as a Kentrosaurus involves some guesswork. But it is prickly and it is a lizard, and I've known a number of people that fit that description, so let's call it educated guesswork.

Assuming this is a discovery of a new and unknown species, I humbly suggest the name Kentrosaurus Flinstonica for it, a tribute to that modern stone-age family who demonstrated peaceful coexistence with dinosaurs in legends passed down to us. 

But where did I find this amazing work of art? I'm afraid I will have to keep that my secret, at least unless the Journal of Old Stuff publishes my paper and pays me handsomely. And even then it may not be possible for others to investigate the find personally. It's been rather rainy, and I'm afraid it may be washed away.

Be glad I have preserved the image for science. You're welcome!

4 comments:

Stiiv said...

That may, in fact, be a pic of the dinosaur on which John D rode to school!

technochitlin said...

You should submit this to the History Blog. Fame! Fortune! 3 more readers!

Robert said...

You have convinced me!

rbj13

🐻 bgbear said...

They called them dragons and everyone got the idea they were talking about different critters.