To wit: The same box of Nature Valley granola bars, one bar filled only half its wrapper. Above, the sad unfinished product; the other, a typically robust cuboid of dark chocolate and nut goodness. What happened?
Nature Valley, located somewhere in the vast General Mills wilderness, is usually much better about its manufacturing. I suppose there could have been an issue with the extruder that lays the hot granola mix into trays; perhaps the cutter that turns the slab into individual bars was at fault. (As someone who has watched a number of episodes of Unwrapped, I consider myself something of an expert on this.)
The worst possible cause, I suppose, is that somewhere along the line a mouse or rat nibbled on the top bar before it got into its wrapper. I find it highly unlikely. And yet, the mere thought of it prevented me from eating that one.
I suppose I could have located some mouse hairs from someplace, draped them on the shriveled granola bar, and called my lawyers (Greef, Sorrel, & Payne) and set them loose in Nature Valley. But that would be wrong. I really do doubt that this was caused by vermin; why drag more vermin into it?
Besides, Nature Valley seems like such a pleasant, peaceful place on the commercials. Full of sugar, yes, and corn syrup, but very pleasant. I have no desire to disturb it for filthy lucre.
6 comments:
Thankfully we have earnest millenials to explain things to us in infantile terms, such as how to eat a Nature's Valley granola bar.
Here's why Nature Valley granola bars are so crumbly, and how to eat them right
I remember trying Nature Valley back in the 1970s when they were fairly new. There were only two varieties: Oats & Honey, and Apple Cinnamon. I liked the Apple Cinnamon but later switched to O&H. They were hard to eat because they were so hard on my little child teeth. I later figured out one of the suggestions in PLW's link: Crumble the bar in the packages, then open it and pour the bits into your mouth to eat.
Granola bars in the 1970s were seen as a healthy alternative to candy and cakes. (Never mind that they were sweetened; sugar was not as frowned upon then.) Then more flavors were introduced, chocolate chips went in the mix, and chewy granola bars for those whose teeth couldn't handle the crunch. One day it dawned on me: This is candy! They've taken the revolutionary new health food and turned it into candy!
It is like thinking oatmeal chocolate chip cookies or carrot cake are health foods.
My wife would have already called NV or GM and received coupons for free product by now.
All you guys are right. They still make a good quick snack though--when full-sized...
Good for you. I think negotiating such settlements or even just letting it go is usually better than getting the legal system involved. Especially if they are Christians, as I am one: 1 Corinthians 6:1-11.
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