Thursday, August 15, 2019

A genuine pain in the butt.

I am not sure what I did -- I didn't fall, I didn't trip, I didn't get thrown into the legendary ass-kicking contest that so many busy one-legged men enjoy -- but I had a bad pain in my back that was located a good deal lower than usual, in the posterior area. If I had to put it on the Pain Scale, I think it would be a 7, maybe 7.5. Bad enough to cause a terrible night of sleep; bad enough to guarantee that Uncle Joe could beat me handily in a 100-yard dash.

I've had a tooth extracted, and I went through a period of really awful backaches; those were the only cases where I was in as much pain as I was on Tuesday night. (A friend of mine recently said that it's amazing how much the human back can hurt without actually killing you.)

The pain had been on me for a bit, but was hardly more than a minor nuisance. Monday it was worse, and Tuesday it felt like a nasty little devil was jabbing a red-hot poker into my butt cheek. The only thing I did that could have brought it on was a volunteer gig on Saturday that required me to stand up for four hours. I'm normally one of nature's sit-down type workers.

Next year: folding chair.

My wife -- I think correctly -- says it stems from an old disk injury, and will probably go away soon enough with the proper treatment. Rest, heat, mild stretches, and lots and lots of ibuprofen.

There was just one problem -- I'm off ibuprofen.

"WHAT?!" you say, knowing as you do that I have led the campaign to get a posthumous Nobel awarded to Stewart Adams, the brilliant chemist who created ibuprofen, who passed away in January at the tender age of 95. But sadly, I have to find out whether Advil has been causing my hearing issues.

Long-suffering readers of this blog will recall my ear-itating problems from last year, where I lost a range of hearing in my right ear for no known reason. One of the possible causes was the use of ototoxic drugs, drugs that have been shown to damage the hearing. Most of them are strong antibiotics, but some powerful painkillers like Vicodin have been identified as possible culprits. I'd had none of these drugs. What I have had is a pretty steady diet of ibuprofen in middle age, and that is suspected of being ototoxic as well.

Some of these effects go away when the drug is removed for a time, so I've been using Tylenol instead for minor aches and pains. It is sometimes helpful, but for this pain it was as useless as a pair of concrete shoes in an ass-kicking contest.

Having hardly slept on Tuesday night, I broke down and took Advil at 4:00 a.m. Wednesday morning -- and finally started to improve. Today I feel like the effects of the weekend's exertion have gone away; maybe they would have without the anti-inflammatory properties of the ibuprofen, but maybe not. I should also note that within two hours of taking the pills, I had ringing in that ear.

I am due back at the ear doctor in March, and was hoping to have made progress by that time. I guess I'll just have to eschew the ibuprofen as much as I can until then, only using it if I get some serious pain as described, 7 and up on the scale. And remember, kids, use only as directed.

5 comments:

bgbear said...

Ibuprofen makes me dizzy and light headed. The endodontist staff that recently did a root canal thought I was some kind of kook when I said i would not take it as recommended. Doctors really love this stuff.

I use aspirin, anacin, and for other aches naproxen sodium (Alleve) that I think is really good stuff.

Mongo919 said...

Sorry to hear of the back pain, Fred. In my 30s I had an episode that laid me out for a week. I was literally on the floor most of the time. I read books by turning them upside down on a glass coffee table top and lying beneath the table. Someone put me in touch with an excellent chiropractor who eventually got me right. He suggested easing into strength training which I did. It took a few years, but I think that really helped. Haven't had an episode since.

As to OTC pain meds, they all have their drawbacks. I can eat Ibuprofen like candy and it works great for me. Probably doesn't help the tinnitus, though. Aspirin works too, but makes the stomach bleed. Tylenol does nothing for me except to hurt my liver, which I can do myself in a more enjoyable manner.

Hope you're sorted out soon!

Fiendish Man said...

I started using Naproxen a couple of years ago when it was recommended by a podiatrist friend of mine. It's the only NSAID that he tells his patients to take because it doesn't cause stomach bleeding like the others.

FredKey said...

Thanks for the tips, kids! I think I'll keep some aspirin around and use it sparingly. It too has been fingered in the ototoxicity game, but its effects are known to go away when use is stopped. To quote my hero, Daffy Duck, "I'm not like other people. I can't stand pain. It hurts me." (Love the image of reading under the glass table, though, Mongo. Way to pass the time!)

peacelovewoodstock said...

I am off OTC pain meds entirely, all of them have disagreeable side effects on me. I have to make do with meditation and preemptive stretching and regular exercise.

I have had Vicodin after outpatient surgery, it is quite pleasant in limited doses but leaves me feeling logy, and if I take more than one in a twelve-hour period it makes my skin itch.

Fortunately Tanqueray works pretty well, as does Laphroaig, but generally not before 5 pm.