Twiblight.

Sarah waited impatiently by the open window. The crescent moon set sail over a sky stroked with silver shadows and silent stars. Her lover was to come soon. This was the night.

With only a brush of a gust through the glass as a warning, Sarah realized that she was no longer alone.

"Good evening, Sarah," came the voice behind her in the room, a voice as rich and deep as the ocean it had crossed to be here. "I am so glad to see you. Alone."

"Barabbus," she said as she turned. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw him there---tall, slim, strong---the glow of the moon reflected in his pale skin, shading his dark brow. Her hand involuntarily found her breastbone. "You really have come for me."

"As you wished," he said. His smile had no mirth in it as he drew a step closer. It merely showed off his teeth---his perfect, perfectly sharp teeth. "You still wish to join us, my sweet?"

"Oh yes, yes!" she breathed, her voice trembling. "To be with you, a child of the night! Free of all human cares and fears! To fly by your side forever! I wish for nothing more than that!"

"Yes, my dear, and tonight, this very night"---he drew closer, closer still---"tonight your wish shall be granted!"

In a frenzy of the most exquisite terror and anticipation, she tilted her head to the side and pulled back her collar. Suddenly he was upon her, grasping her in his mighty arms, holding her so close to him that she could almost not bear it, waiting for his breath on her skin, his---there it was!---his bite!

She almost sank down then, but was upheld by his arms as he pierced her neck; as he drank she swooned, she melted in a maelstrom of overwhelming joy....

....and suddenly opened her eyes.

Sarah was lying on a pale ground under a gray sky. She blinked. She was alone.

"What the--?"

She sat up and clamped her hand to her neck. There was no wound. No blood on her palm.

She realized then she was wearing only a blouse and trousers, plain gray, like nothing she owned. She ran her tongue over her teeth. They felt completely normal. In fact, too normal. With a start Sarah realized that the wisdom teeth she'd had yanked in tenth grade were back in her mouth.

"What is going on here?" she cried.

"Um, sorry," said a voice behind her.

"What?" Startled, she leaped to her feet. There was a man who had not been there a moment ago, a tall man with angular features. He looked kind of like any dumb guy going to the office. But he too was wearing plain gray clothes, and his angular features were twisted in a pained expression.

"Who are you?" she said. "Where are we?"

"Yeah, Sarah, well, about that," said the man.

"You know my name?"

"They, uh, told me."

"You--- Who are you? You're not---"

"Yeah, Barry. Hi." He gave her a little wave.

"Barabbus?"

"Uh, well, that's what he calls himself, but I usually went by Barry."

"What are you talking about? Where am I? So help me, if you don't---"

"Sarah, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you're dead. This is the afterlife."

"WHAT?"

"Yep. The vampire killed you. Sucked out your blood. Usually fatal, you know, losing your blood."

"Well, yeah!" she hollered, stamping her foot. "That was what he was supposed to do! I'm not supposed to be dead! There's got to be a mistake. He was going to turn me into a vampire!"

"Yeah, well, he did that. Your body is now going to run around the earth with him for a while. But you have to come with me."

That was the last straw. Shrieking with fury, Sarah grabbed Barry by the shirt and screamed in his face, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Undead, Sarah!" he said. "You're undead! I'm undead! That means there's no soul! Just animated dead bodies!" He gripped her wrists in a kindly way. "It happened to me when I was bitten by a vampire. Now it's happened to you. We died, Sarah. We are the souls. Our bodies---" He shrugged. "They've moved on without us."

"But wait! No! You're saying I don't get to be a vampire? I don't get to fly around and be a wolf and a bat and have awesome vampire sex all over the place?"

Barry shook his head. "No one does," he said. "Only the bodies survive. Until they get staked, or splashed with holy water, or forget to wear SPF eight billion sunblock or something. Our bodies are just well-dressed zombies. And we're here, in the afterlife."

Sarah collapsed to the ground, bewildered. "Oh, God."

"Yeah," he said, sitting down next to her. "I'm sorry my animated corpse killed you. I hate to tell you how many women, and men too, I've had to apologize to for that. But I have no control over it. I hope someone stakes it soon."

"Men?"

Barry shrugged. "Corpse gotta eat."

Sarah flopped on her back. "Man," she said, "this totally sucks."

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