Thursday, May 11, 2017

Worst ever knock-knock jokes.

Knock knock.
Hello?
Amateur.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
[no one; it's a ring 'n run]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mary Jane. Ask me again and I'll tell you the same.
That's not a joke. That doesn't even rhyme.
Bite me.

Knock knock.
Go away.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
[sound of vomiting from the drunk left by the ding dong ditchers]

Knock knock.
[nobody's home]

Knock knock.
Knock knock.
What?

Knock knock.
Who's on first?
You're in the wrong joke.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Yes. [Pete Townshend, Keith Moon, Roger Daltrey, and John Entwistle enter]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Yes. [Jon Anderson, Steve Howe, Chris Squire, Alan White, and Rick Wakeman enter]

Knock knock.
[nobody's home]
CRASH.
WOOOOOOOOOO! [security system works like a charm]

Knock knock.
Why?
Sorry to have disturbed you, Mr. Sartre.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Police.
Ack!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
We're finally getting somewhere with these jokes.



Knock knock.
I have a shotgun.
Good-bye.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Do I go around asking you questions?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Marvin.
Come back another time. I’m in the shower.
Okay, I’ll just---hey, wait a second!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Walter.
Walter who?
Walter ya waiting for? Open up!
[Gunshots through door.]

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Land shark.
That bit is pretty old, isn’t it?

Knock.
….and?
Wait for it….
Knock.
Well, now I’ve lost interest.

Knock knock.
How?
No Indian jokes, please.

Knoque knoque.
Qui est là?
Jacques.
Bonjour, Jacques. La plume de ma tante est sur le bureau.

Knock knock.
What’s there?
A door knocker.

Knock knock.
Whom is there?
Grammar Police. Please come along quietly.

Knock knock. Who’s there? I’m on the wrong side of this door.

Knock knock.
Beat it. I can’t open the door because of all this @^#%@&#!! snow.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Fuller Brush Man, selling a full line of Fuller Brush products, including cleaning products, personal care products, specialty products for laundry, outdoors, and cleaners for stone, brass, wood, and other surfaces, since 1906, in keeping with our longstanding motto of “Make it work, make it last, guarantee it no matter what.”
Fuller Brush Man, selling a full line of Fuller Brush products, including cleaning products, personal care products, specialty products for laundry, outdoors, and cleaners for stone, brass, wood, and other surfaces, since 1906, in keeping with our longstanding motto of “Make it work, make it last, guarantee it no matter what” who?
Huh?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Girl Scout, selling cookies.
I’m a little busy; could you just slip some under the door?
Slip cookies under the door? They won’t fit.
Not even Thin Mints?

Kconk Kconk.
Boy, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.
OCD Clinic; may we help you?

Knock knock.
Where's there?
Didn't you read the manual?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Yo, it's the dog. C'mon, lemme in.
Okay, let me...hold on just a second!
What?
You're not Fifi. You sound like that Yorkie next door.
Dang.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Most people just call me the Doctor.

Knock knock.
Hooz their?
Dictionary salesman.

Ding dong.
Who's there?
What's with the ding dong?
I upgraded.

Kock kock...
Hey! This is a family blog!
...kock-a-doodle-doo!
Phew. Yo, 'tsup Chanticleer?

Knoxj knoxk.
Whos; thereed?
Keybord repairmn.

Knock knock.
This is the pregnant lady.
Well, I got the joke, at least.

Knock.
Where's the rest of it?
I like to get right to the point.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
John.
John Who?
No, John Woo, the director.
What a crap joke.
Didn't you read the title of this blog entry?

Knock knock.
Ouch! Ouch!
Sorry! Why isn't your door here?

Knick knack.
Who's there?
Sue.
Sue who?
Sue Venier.
Sue Venier Who?
That statuette of the doe-eyed kids playing guitar you bought in Branson.

Knock knock.
To get to the other side.
Damn---I must have got lost.

Boing boing.
Who's there?
Satisfaction survey from Rubber Doors Company, m'am.

Knock knock.
What's the password?
"Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow, Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow, Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow, Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow, Well, don't you know about the bird, Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word, A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird's the word."
Okay, come in.
This @&*@#&! speakeasy has the worst password ever.

Knockity knock knock knock!
Do you think that's perhaps a bit too fey?

🚪❗🚪❗
😕❓
Kids today.

Jokes mostly run on old blog. Some even more worst knock-knock jokes may be found here, if you must.
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