Monday, January 18, 2016


Inside a box of Kellogg's Mini Wheats:

A "straw spoon." There are six of them to collect. And Disney's Olaf may be involved.

What the hell is this thing?

Some assembly required.

So I got the Buzz Lightyear one, which is good, as he is not Olaf, and he knows how to fall with style. But I still am baffled by the premise. I know what a spork is. And I know what a spoon straw usually is, because you get them with a Slushee. You know, straws with little scoops on the end.

Like these.
But this thing, assembled, looks like a... spoon. How is this a straw? Well, the handle is hollow, and there's a hole down near the scoop, in the back.

But that leaves the two-inch bowl of the spoon, meaning that if you use it in a glass, you can't get the beverage on the bottom.

My wife notes that it is for drinking the milk after you eat the cereal (although the kids on the box seem to be drinking it while the cereal is still in it).

Well, some of us just add more cereal to get the last of the milk, but the point is taken. I used to drink the bowl. (I know a guy who drinks the rest of the salad dressing after he eats the vegetables. Eeeyuck.)

Even then, though, you have to have a bowl with side that slope at a pretty large angle. A bowl with high sides will prevent you from getting all the milk. You could unscrew the bowl from the handle, but now you're messing with a wet utensil, and JUST PICK UP THE DAMN BOWL AND DRINK THE DAMN MILK.

Then again, my late Granny always said not to pick up a piece of china at the table unless it had a handle on it. She might have approved of this bizarre stroon spraw thing. Although it's not dishwasher safe, and Granny believed in hygienic utensils.

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