Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Recycling Day.

TOWN OF ROLLING PINES
2015 RECYCLING SCHEDULE

Recycling will be picked up on Thursdays, except for weeks in which holidays fall on Mondays
Glass and plastic should go in the blue bins
Paper should go in the green bins
Corrugated cardboard must be tied in stacks no thicker than 6 inches
No Food---Wash All Glass and Plastic; Do Not Include Paper or Cardboard with Food or Food Stains

Thursday, September 17, Benjamin Lane, Rolling Pines

No. 23 -- The Petersens put their glass and plastic in the blue bin and their paper in the green bin, except on weeks when Timmy can be pressed into putting down the iPhone long enough to take out the trash, in which case anything may wind up in any bin

No. 22 -- The Hopkinses lost their blue bin years ago and just throw everything into the green bin

No. 20 -- Joe Grooblacker heard that recycling centers are overwhelmed with unsaleable cardboard and so just throws everything in the garbage

No. 19 -- Erma Goldblatz, a very determined sixth-grader, keeps the rest of the Goldblatzes in line with their recycling to save the world from Global Climate Change, but there are a number of Goldblatzes and some of them are teenagers, so it's impossible to make sure they all do what their supposed to

No. 16 -- The Furburs always meticulously recycle their pizza boxes, sometimes with crusts still in them

No. 14 -- Old Man Ubrecht often puts scrap metal, bullet casings, old keys, Canadian pennies, small broken appliances, and other such things in the blue bin

No. 11 -- The Harrisons think everything that is plastic can be acceptable by their local town, including used drinking straws, that hard plastic packaging from electronics, thin wrap from packs of napkins, plastic cups, and so on

No. 10 -- The Dales only put out corrugated cardboard once a year, shortly after Christmas---a tied bundle four feet thick

Intermezzo -- Jimmy, the possibly homeless guy, or maybe on a bad fixed income (although Joe Grooblacker thinks he's rich), with the shopping cart from Hockner's, which closed five years ago, comes around sometimes early on Thursday mornings to take deposit bottles out of the blue bins, usually leaving Green Giant cans and Reddi-Wip cans and Canadian pennies and things on the ground

No. 8 -- Margaret Mazzelli's New Year's resolution to be good about recycling fell by the wayside in March and has not been seen since

No. 5 -- The Yans, who call Carson Snodgrass at no. 3 "Felix Unger," put out the recycling once, on Memorial Day week, and got so annoyed that it didn't get picked up that they never bothered again

No. 3 -- Carson Snodgrass, who sorts everything properly, ties up boxes as carefully as Christmas gifts, and always disposes of garbage with garbage, writes letters to the town council, the local police, and the sanitation department demanding that his neighbors be ticketed for their laughable recycling efforts


No. 1 -- The Crotskis are under the impression that the town has a large compost pile, and therefore expects food garbage from its citizens on recycling day; therefore the Crotskis' food garbage goes in the green bin (contaminating everything on the recycling truck), all other recycling in the blue bin, and absolutely no food garbage in the garbage on garbage day
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