Friday, August 7, 2015

Thirty things I learned from self-help books.


  1. Never take those pills and things from those greedy pill-pushing doctors again! Break the grip of dependence!
  2. Take these herbs religiously every day or you will feel like crap.
  3. You are as tough as nails, sister!
  4. Formaldehyde in your nail polish will kill you.
  5. We’re born doing everything perfectly until “civilization” screws us up.
  6. Your breathing is all wrong!
  7. Never be a follower! Stand up for yourself!
  8. By following these role models.
  9. The world is all brand-new today!
  10. Follow this ancient wisdom.
  11. Be gentle with yourself! You don't have to suffer!
  12. Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
  13. You are charming, beautiful, powerful, perfect.
  14. And humble.
  15. Traditions are wonderful and to be treasured.
  16. Don't believe anything your ancestors would have given their lives defending.
  17. You are a human being, not a human doing.
  18. Do this stuff. 
  19. You are responsible for your own happiness.
  20. All those toxic people are responsible for your unhappiness.
  21. You are perfect and wonderful just the way you are.
  22. Now change!
  23. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you.
  24. Here’s how to look like a million bucks!
  25. Your destiny is written.
  26. Here’s how to grab control of your life. 
  27. You can have bliss each and every day!
  28. The path to wisdom comes through surviving misery.
  29. You don’t need anything you don’t already have. 
  30. Except this book and its sequels. 

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