For this I made it to the top of the food chain?
I have long been taught not to compare my insides with others' outsides, for one never knows what secret sorrows and insecurities gnaw at the breast of one's fellows. That said, Mr. Dog looks pretty cheerful no matter which way you look at him.
I thought I might compare the advantages of being the human to being the canine. Maybe there's something I'm overlooking. Here is the list I drew up:
ME: Control of the larder
DOG: Which he can access food from by being cute, in addition to his two solid meals daily
ME: Have to go to store with money earned by the humans, buy food, schlep it home
DOG: Can get treats just by being cute
ME: If I go wild and attack dog, it's my fault
DOG: If he goes wild and attacks me, it's my fault
ME: Lifestyle requires long hours of work
ME: Toys come from Best Buy and cost a fortune
DOG: Toys come from PetSmart or, even better, the lawn, and cost little or nothing
ME: Have to write checks for the mortgage, electric bill, cable bill, water bill...
DOG: Does not have to write checks for the mortgage, electric bill, cable bill, water bill...
ME: Can drive a car wherever a car may go
DOG: Has no idea that there's anyplace you would want to drive a car to; therefore doesn't care
ME: Can use the comfortable climate-controlled bathroom
DOG: The entire world is his bathroom
ME: But for baby and wisdom teeth, got all my original parts
DOG: Um....
You know what? Maybe it's not so bad being the human after all.
DOG: The entire world is his bathroom
ME: But for baby and wisdom teeth, got all my original parts
DOG: Um....
You know what? Maybe it's not so bad being the human after all.
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