The latest victim of cancel culture is the great superhero Captain Underpants, or rather, Captain Underpants's co-creation by the same author and illustrator, Dav Pilkey. I'm not surprised at anyone being attacked by the woke mokes, but was confused about what happened in this case. The problem is supposed to be "passive racism" in a spinoff book. The New York Post reports:
The publisher announced it will no longer distribute Dav Pilkey’s 2010 graphic novel, The Adventures of Ook and Gluk: Kung-Fu Cavemen from the Future, saying in a statement released last week that the decision had been made with the “full support” of the author.
The author, of course, issued a groveling apology: “But this week it was brought to my attention that this book also contains harmful racial stereotypes and passively racist imagery. I wanted to take this opportunity to publicly apologize for this. It was and is wrong and harmful to my Asian readers, friends, and family, and to all Asian people.”
So what the hell was in this book?
The credited George Beard and Harold Hutchins are the child protagonists from the Captain Underpants books, and let's be very clear that they are not supposed to possess genius intellects. I've only seen a couple of illustrations from Ook and Gluk, and nothing seems too shocking -- just appropriately dumb for a book by a couple of little boys.
[sic] their village
I found it hard to believe that any were published in 2010. It's not like this guy was doing cartoons about the Japanese during World War II, like Dr. Seuss; this was eleven years ago. What's the issue?
Amazon and Barnes & Noble have already pulled it, and Scholastic has told libraries to burn it. To the fire! You are not of the body! But my library system allows digital downloads, so I borrowed one quickly before they got the word -- and discovered Mr. Wong of the kung fu school, who teaches the heroes martial arts and saves the day.
So Mr. Wong in the Mr. Miyagi part is bad, but geez, everyone looks goofy in this book. That's the point. It's a funny adventure as told by two knuckleheaded boys. But there's your passive racism. Meh, I call BS -- Mr. Wong is a hero of the story; all the bad people and stupid people are white. Who cares?
I wondered also if the depiction of kung fu, or the use of the term itself, was, as they say, "problematic." Merriam-Webster defines kung fu as "any of various Chinese martial arts and related disciplines that are practiced especially for self-defense, exercise, and spiritual growth," so perhaps the spiritual aspect that makes it turn up in a kids' gag book also made it offensive. I mean, I don't think this is the equivalent of Ook and Gluk traveling to the future, being ordained as Catholic priests, and then defeating the enemies of "there villege" by consecrating the bread and wine.
Hard to believe, but it was almost ten years ago now that Simon Ledger was arrested on the Isle of Wight for singing the 1974 #1 Billboard Hot 100 hit "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas. "A man of Chinese origin" who was strolling by the karaoke bar took offense, reported the offensive disco classic to the police, and Ledger was hauled out by the bobbies. Ultimately he was not charged, but the point was made. In response, the irrepressible Mark Steyn has been singing the song at appearances ever since.
I guess we know who's next on the chopsocky block:
Could be!
Never mind that Phooey is a non-racially-aligned dog. And being voiced by a black performer and being the "Number One Super Guy" will not save Hong Kong Phooey's hash. So far he's safe, but that won't last long.
I have to wonder who really got under Scholastic's skin about this Ook and Gluk book. Was it the Communist Chinese Party, which has been throwing its weight around all over the place, in matters grave and pesky? Was it a group of Asian children, more concerned about stupid books than attacks on Asians in cities or denial of college admittances to Asian students? Was it a genuine kung fu master, offended by the slight? Or was it a bunch of white women who make it their focus to be offended all day, every day, even by things that don't offend them?
If it's the last, they ought to be careful -- I hear a lot of them like yoga, which Merriam-Webster defines as "a Hindu theistic philosophy teaching the suppression of all activity of body, mind, and will in order that the self may realize its distinction from them and attain liberation". Their flippant abuse of this spiritual philosophy sounds pretty offensive to the Hindus, you ask me. I would hate for the perpetually outraged Karens and their yoga mats to be cast into the outer darkness like Ook and Gluk.
I don't know what they have to say It doesn't matter anyway Whatever it is, I'm against it No matter what it is or who commenced it I'm against it Your proposition may be good But let's have one thing understood Whatever it is, I'm against it And even when you've changed it or condensed it I'm against it I'm opposed to it on general principles I'm opposed to it...
The great Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff of Huxley College set the tone for my acceptance of anything in the media. Speaking as one who has long labored in the mines of book and magazine publishing, I have seen many silly ideas turn into fads and turn into "musts," for the simple reason that some ding dong had some encounter with a freak out there in the world who had some life-improving idea; with the enthusiasm that only the young and over-moneyed can enjoy, that ding dong sold her friends on it, and through the media it was broadcast to the world. This is how we get useless things like cucumber slices on the eyes and dangerous things like Goop. A few years down the line, when all America is enthralled with the dopey idea, the original true believers say "What was that all about?" as if they'd never been involved, because they're on to the next fabulous idea. The consumer can never catch up; you're always going to be at least one dumb idea behind.
This kind of stuff is big in newspaper features and women's magazines. You may find dumb ideas in Popular Mechanics or Family Handyman, but they aren't touted breathlessly as the best thing EVAH. Well, not usually.
So here are some things I'm against, possibly on general principles, but also because I think it's dumb and I don't feel like it. I'm not saying these things have no merits, but as modern Big Ideas they leave me cold. I've spent my whole life resisting peer pressure and I'm not giving in now.
YOGA
It is probably is healthy, and maybe it helps you relax, but it's not for me. I would look like an olive trying to balance on its toothpick. Everyone on the health-care commercials is yogaing away, but of course only a small percentage of the population is really interested. Most of us would just like to be less fat. We are perfectly happy to find inner peace in church and/or lying on the sofa. If you want a reason to avoid yoga, call it cultural appropriation. I don't care. Just leave me out of it.
VEGANISM
A doctor may force me into it one day, but it will be to save my life, not the cow's life. It's unlikely to happen anyhow. There're few health conditions that absolutely require abstaining from all animal products. Despite that, the news media and our betters in the international health community and the global warming gang want me to give them up. Well, I can be sentimental about animals enough to try to give up meat one day, although fish and chickens are dumb and probably need to be eaten. In any event, you'll get my ice cream when you pry it from my literally cold and possibly dead hands.
ELECTRIC CARS
I have nothing against the idea, but the technology isn't there. This little fact was buried for years after the so-called documentary Who Killed the Electric Car? came out in 2006. You want to know what killed the electric car? Reality. People have the idea that you can charge a huge battery by zapping it with the Heart of Atlantis, but that's horse hockey. A pal of mine got a call on the way to work recently from his boss, who was stuck on an exit ramp when he forgot to charge his Tesla. He was driving through New Jersey and the thing turned into a two-ton paperweight. My pal had to come babysit the car, and the Labrador in the backseat, while Boss took the company truck and went to work. Because you can't send someone to Sunoco for a gallon of electricity. I've thought a network of battery changers would be useful, but at this point you can't just pop out the old batteries and pop in the new ones. Maybe one day -- and maybe one day our electricity will come from nice, clean nukes or maybe unicorn farts instead of fossil fuels -- but that day isn't today. So the Tesla runs on fossil fuels and nukes anyway. So shut up and let me drive my car.
BEST-SELLERS BY CHARLATANS AND AGONISTS
Nothing is going to stop the liars, cheaters, carpetbaggers, chiselers, swindlers, faddists, and snake-oilers from publishing books full of lies, like some recentbest-sellers I know of; it has been thus and ever shall be. But don't tell me to -- nay, insist that I must -- read them. Furthermore, I have no interest in the agonists, meaning writers who pack their novels with horrible tales of woe meant to show how the badass female lead (always female) overcomes all the terrible strawmen (always men) who stand in her way. I guess there's an audience for this stuff, which is paint-by-numbers no matter what the setting, but I'm not part of it. The people who are ought to realize that they're being fed an illusion as much as any Hallmark Christmas movie watcher. The difference is, the Hallmark fan knows it's fiction.
These are the bridges that are too far for me. And if you don't like my general principles... Well, to quote Prof. Wagstaff's twin brother, or someone who sounded like him, these are my principles, and if you don't like them, I have others.
I've done some stretches in my time--poorly--but I don't think yoga is for me. First of all, it seems to require a level of flexibility that my people simply do not have, that level being "any." If I tried, say, the Pendant Pose, I would definitely be putting the LOL in Lolasana.
Second, there's the whole cultural appropriation stuff, and as I would naturally wish to do yoga while wearing a sombrero and cooking pho, it just seems like inviting trouble.
Nonetheless, I'm amazed by the wide variety of impossible poses, postures, and whatnot available to the yoga devota, and their incredible mouth-bending names. Like:
I think a Venn diagram would show that many of the people who know what these are would be the same as the people who tell you never to eat something you can't pronounce. But it's okay to do something you can't pronounce? I call shenanigans!
There are a handful of poses I think I might be able to do, as follows:
Bananaramasana
Three point stance while holding your Venus
Roninsana
Pick up phone firmly in one hand; call broker
Roseanne Rosannadannasana
Frequent hand gestures required
Alabamaslammasana
Seated position, elbow bent
Downward Facing Sickasa Dog
Follows Alabamaslammasana
Advilo Mukha Vrksasana What people like me would need after trying yoga
