Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Ain't I a stinker?

You're never too old to learn, and I learned something I did not know about skunks the other day. Actually, I learned a few things. 

Things I did know: Skunks are rare in the mammal world for their odiferous defense, but not alone; wolverines, for example, also have a smell-secreting defense. (The Marvel hero would have been a lot different if he'd had that superpower.) Skunks are very good at deploying that sulfuric spray, especially the one that shot our dog Fazzy all those years ago, the big galoot. 

Things I did not know: The spray of a skunk is composed of thiols and thioacetates, which bond really well to other atoms, which is why the stink is so pernicious. When you (or you dog) get nailed by a skunk, you stay nailed. 

Not surprising, skunks have few predators. Sure, a bobcat or a wolf might try his luck, but only if he's really hungry. Snakes have too good a sense of smell to get involved; in fact, skunks not only eat snakes, but they are virtually impervious to snake venom. Rattlesnake bite? Pepe shakes it off and eats the damn thing. He don't care. 

Skunk, not caring


I wondered if there was a chemical similarity with the skunk spray to snake venom, causing the immunity, but it does not seem to be the case. I'm sure some biologist could explain it to me.

The great horned owl does not mind getting skunked. He has a poor sense of smell but he thinks skunks taste awesome. A great horned owl can take out a skunk larger than he is and fly off with it. Then shoot back to the wildlife preserve and give his minders something to regret, I guess.

Memo: If you are enrolled at Hogwarts and your owl is a great horned owl, learn a destinkification spell immediately. Odiferamus departicus!

Getting back to the topic of snakes: About 90 miles off the coast of Brazil is Ilha da Queimada Grande, or Snake Island, a tropical paradise but for the thousands of golden lancehead pit vipers. The golden lancehead pit viper is among the most venomous, sneaky, dangerous snakes on earth. No one is allowed to go to the island, but no one wants to, either, except I guess the most foolhardy herpetologists and nature photographers. 

The snakes have been there since the last Ice Age, and that's as well as may be, but do we really need them? Sure, they're critically endangered, because vicious snakes need private islands or they'd be slaughtered. (Cf.: Jeffrey Epstein.) But a small island in a lovely part of the world would make a heck of a resort. 

Of course, you know what we do need. We need Chuck Norris to lead an army of skunks onto Ilha da Queimada Grande and wipe out the vipers. It's the right thing to do and the right time to do it. So Chuck, if you're reading this, give me a call. I happen to know quite a few skunks who might be available for daywork. 

4 comments:

Mag said...

Well. I didn't learn anything new from your post about skunks, but I did learn something new about Brazil, and the existence of Snake Island. Interesting stuff.

Stiiv said...

"Army of Skunks"

🐻 bgbear said...

"Terror of Skunk Snake Island" this Saturday on Svengoolie.

Robert said...

I will say this post did not stink up the joint.

rbj13