Saturday, January 4, 2020

Cookie what?

A resolution made with care
Got shot to hell, I know not where
For, so swiftly it came, the plate
Of cookies that I sat and ate.

First, in my defense, I didn't actually make any specific resolutions. But second, if I had, I must follow the holiday observance that says Christmas doesn't end until the Epiphany is celebrated, and that's tomorrow. Third, no food-related resolutions can go into effect until the offending food is gone.

Well, that includes stocking-stuffer treats, and here's a slightly confusing one that needed to be tested. By me, yes.


This is Biscoff & Go Cookie Butter and Breadsticks.

Cookie butter? What is cookie butter?

Actually, I had seen jars of it on sale up around the peanut butter, and as peanut butter is made of smashed peanuts, and cashew butter of smashed cashews, is cookie butter is made of smashed cookies? Indeed it is, according to A Taste of Home, which states that it is made from "ground-up spice cookies called speculoos created in the heart of Europe." Lotus, the company that made this cookie-butter-&-breadsticks treat, makes tons of speculoos, and I suppose this was a clever way to get rid of excess inventory. You can get their cookie butter in a jar or as an ice cream flavor as well.

Cookie butter has been around for years, but I never got my hands on any before, and didn't know what it was. Nobody tells me anything.

So, how is this stuff?



As with my wife's immortal description of Nutella, cookie butter is toast frosting. It's quite tasty; if you like gingerbread, as I do, you'll like it. It's a spreadable gingerbread cookie. I'll bet it would make a good cake frosting or filling, and could take the place of Marshmallow Fluff in a Fluffernutter. A Speculutter. Probably not much more sugary than preserves, although without the cover of containing "fruit."

As for the breadsticks, they are strong enough to scoop the stuff and have little taste of their own, perfect for this kind of thing. They are just the cookie-butter-conveyance device.

On the whole this is the kind of thing I am getting rid of. I'm mostly aiming to give food away; in fact, we're going to a little wingding tonight at which I hope to unload some uneaten cookies and awesome fruitcake. So then I'll be ready for the Bitter End on Monday.

An acquaintance tells me that his adopted motto is to say not "No, I can't eat that" but rather "No, I don't eat that." In other words, to treat unhealthy foods as something he has rejected, not something that he is denied. I suppose it's smart, but he's been a skinny bastard since childhood and I find it hard to believe he digs the sweets the way I do. Alas, I must make changes.

And now that I've eaten the cookie butter, that's just one more damn thing I have to say no to. Curses!

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