Thursday, August 23, 2018

Shoot pool, fast Freddie.

I was looking for a phone app to kill time in a stupid way while waiting for a bus, or in a doctor's office, or wherever else I may need to be at a time I didn't want to think. Really, the perfect game app is one that engages me enough so that my brain is too busy to worry about other things. I see the FDA just approved an electronic device for OCD, but I suspect the smartphone has been doing that already for some of us with these kind of games.

I tried a few different games, until I finally found my new favorite waste of time:


Infinite Pool by Kiseki is a typically insane setup. You are basically shooting pool along a varying landscape to get hats to sell in your hat store. Yes, you read that right. How do you get hats by shooting pool? Well, DUH. You knock balls wearing hats into holes! And you can upgrade hats with money you earn. The more and better hats you sell, the more money you make; the more money you make, the more you expand the store; the more you expand the store, the more merchandise you have to get. And that means? Back to shootin' pool!

No, it doesn't have to make sense. 

Like regular pool, the plan is to knock balls into holes without your cue ball going into one. A scratch ends the round. So does running out of shots. But every time you knock a ball into a hole you get another shot (you start with five, also the max you can earn), so if you're a good shot you can theoretically keep going forever. Of course, the round gets harder the longer you play. 


With all those neat hats hanging around, your cue ball wants to wear one, amiright? Of course! Different hats give your cue ball different abilities, like greater shot power, more shots to start a round, or bigger explosive power. (Did I mention there are bombs you can set off? There are bombs you can set off.) You can also earn different cue balls as well; you start off with basic Cupi, but at this point there are 27 you can get for your cue-ball stable. Here's Woofi, whom I equipped with a police hat, thereby making him a police dog:



In addition to the basic mission -- Hats -- there are also sub missions that lead to financial rewards, ranging from stupidly easy to slightly difficult. And of course there are the inevitable in-game purchases and ads to watch for side benefits.

Officer Woofi minding the hat store.
Note that the term "hats" includes glasses,
sunglasses, and Afro wigs.
As you expand your store you get more expensive hats to sell, but these sell more slowly than the cheaper ones. As in real life.

There are also special events. There was a soccer theme in place during the World Cup, and now a tennis theme has started -- maybe just for US users -- with the US Open under way. These events feature various achievements and rewards you can reach.

It's a fun game that takes some but not a lot of skill, and rewards regular play. I hate to think how much time I've wasted on it, but those have all been tiny amounts of time. I guess I could have been flossing in that time, or reading Plato, or learning new French words, but would I? Would I really?

No, if I wasn't shooting pool and collecting hats, I'd just be worrying. It is the way of my people.

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