Hours away from Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day!

June 2 is the day that the great Leo Gorcey died in 1969, and we honor him tomorrow with the second annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day. So when you're out and about on Tuesday, make sure to use your broad Noo Yawk accent, act tough and mean when you're angry (and panicked when you're scared), and work in those malapropisms as often as you can.

The character Slip Mahoney from the Bowery Boys films was known for his colorful misuse of large words, and as I acknowledged last year, it can be hard to zing one out without proper preparation. Gorcey had screenwriters, and Mrs. Malaprop from The Rivals had Richard Brinsley Sheridan, but you'll have to make do on your own. Bear in mind that you can make near words---words that are not quite in the dictionary but A) sound like the word that is meant and B) have a comic effect.

Here's a few I've concocted to get you started, complete with accent:

• "We need ta use a block and cackle on dis job."
• "I owe some money ta de Infoirnal Revenue Soirvice."
• "I'm very intelligent. I'm known for my condensation."
• "No need to be so elephantic about it!"
• "Sure, I eat meat. I ain't no veterinarian."
• "It's like dat story, 'Da Pit an' da Pandemonium.'"
• "Of course I'm a patriot! I'm a absolute libertine!"
• "We nevah give up. We're known for our tendinitis."
• "I love your abalone hair, your porcine skin."

"Tanks to dis jack pot, we're positively effluent!"

Remember that Slip was often trying to sound smart and sophisticated, so you may want to pull the double trick of doing a froufrou accent as if your natural accent is New Yorkese. That's advanced Slip.

Will people look at you funny? Dat's the idear! As with dat pirate day in September, if you dress the part people will depreciate what you'se doin'. More on dat tomorrow.

Where in the world are the Bowery Boys?

As we get even closer to Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day on June 2, the tension mounts... the streets of New York are a-sizzle with excitement!

The Wikipedia entry on the Bowery Boys (of which Slip Mahoney was the one true king) noted that the BBs' many film plots followed those of Abbott and Costello---when Bud and Lou did a Western, the Boys did a Western; when A&C did a haunted house, the Boys did a haunted house, and so on. I enjoyed Abbott and Costello films, but hey---they made only 36 movies; the Bowery Boys made 48. How many easy comedy ideas were floating around in that era? B movies were not nor expected to be dynamos of originality.

Anyway, the Bowery Boys got around a lot in those pictures, although they always played the same characters---unlike Abbott and Costello, who played different characters (who were exactly like Bud and Lou). Sometimes it required taking storytelling liberties. For example, in Bowery Buckaroos, the characters were transported to the Old West by virtue of the story being a dream of Sach's. In a later film (Hold that Hypnotist), a hypnotist uses past-life regression hypnosis to send the Boys on an adventure in piracy. (Note that Slip was out of the series by then, so there's no crossover between Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day and International Talk Like a Pirate Day.)

Most of the Bowery Boys films were typical New York-based crime stories (although fantasy elements were featured in several of them), but the Bowery Boys often hit the road, especially in later films. If this should come up in conversation on the big day, you might mention that Slip and the gang had many adventures outside the confines of the city:

Let's Go Navy! -- the Boys enlist in the Navy to find thieves that rob a charity and spend a year at sea
Loose in London -- the Boys go to London when Sach gets an inheritance
Paris Playboys -- the Boys go to Paris to find a missing professor
Jungle Gents -- the Boys go to Africa to find diamonds
Bowery to Bagdad  -- a genie transports Slip and Sach to Baghdad
Dig That Uranium -- the Boys go to the western U.S. to find uranium
Crashing Las Vegas -- the Boys win a trip to Vegas

They go to the mountains in Spook Chasers, but by then Slip was gone, so for our purposes we're leaving it off the list. Talk to us if there's ever a Talk Like Duke Covelske Day.

The Boys wound up enlisting in the Navy, Marines, Army, and the Air Force in their adventures, which would make them unique in the armed forces history of the U.S. The Coast Guard is probably pretty sore about being left out again.

So as you can see, Slip Mahoney was not only a tough New York street kid, but he was also something of a world traveler. He could mangle words from several languages, too, which might make him describe himself as something of a polygoat.

Slip kid.

Only two weeks to go until the Second Annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day on June 2! 

"I'm overcome wit' emulsions!"

And remember, Slip always claimed to be allergic to work, so you have to take the day off.

We all know we have to bone up on our Slip Mahoney malapropisms; but a casual perusal of his quotes reminds us that we need to have random insults ready for our nearest and dearest. Like:

Sach: I lost my button. 
Slip: You lost your buttons a long time ago! 

Sach: I wish I was in the ring, I'd fracture that guy. 
Slip: You couldn't fracture a toy balloon. 

As you can see, it helps to have a dumb sidekick handy at all times to give you the intro. In an ideal world, Talk Like Horace Debussy "Sach" Jones Day would fall on the same day as Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day, so you'd always have a ready straight man. If you can find one willing to play along, or just a dumb guy to hang around with, though, you're all set.

Just wait for your pal to make a simple declarative sentence; then seize on the key idea and turn it around. If it happens to be an opportune time to deliver a casual threat, go for it. Use your angry New Yawk accent to seal the deal.

Him: What's the weather like tomorrow?
You: For you? Cloudy with a chance of stupid.

Him: Can I use your phone?
You: What, you checking your reservation at the nuthouse?

Him: I sure could use a sandwich.
You: You sure could use a knuckle sandwich! 

And remember, kids, no actual fighting beyond hitting with your hat. The hat-hitting, so well identified with Skipper Jonas Grumby, was another great move of Slip's, and a way to be Sliplike without even opening your yap.

All right! Two weeks to go! Practice your malapropisms, insults, and threats, buy a sturdy hat, and let's get ready!

Time to constipate the wonder of Slip Mahoney again.

Time to start gettin' exacerbated, because we're coming up on the Second Annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day. Yes, Slip Mahoney Leo Gorcey's master of the malapropism, the Solon of the solecism, the only real chief of the Bowery Boys, with his Noo Yawk accent and his casual cartoon violence, is cerebrated on June 2, the day of Gorcey's death in 1969.

Mahoney was a well-meaning street punk, surrounded by dummies, who was willing to do anything to help those in need. He also spoke like he'd swallowed a dictionary, threw it up, and then memorized the remains. Malapropism is difficult to do well, but Gorcey carried it off for decades. Any fool can go "Arr Arr" "I be keelhaulin' ye" "Keep a weather eye on me doubloons" etc. on International Talk Like a Pirate Day, but Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day requires some thought.

You wouldn't wanna go off half-crocked.

We'll work on our malaprops as the big day draw closer. Right now, to get ready for June 2, you need to get yourself a Mahoney hat. Almost any brimmed hat will do, if you can fold up the front.

Just ask your local melonery for somethin' to cover your melon.

So let's all commiserate on this for a while, and see how we can inveigh the best ways to Slip Mahoneyize ourselves. Or else Slip'll slap us in the teeth.

Post-Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day: The Encapitation.

Yesterday was the first annual Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day, and I had big hopes of perannotatin' da streets of Noo Yawk, hearin' people droppin' malaprops and wise-guyisms with great acrumb. But sadly, da streets remained unpolluted wit' Slip Mahoney imitators.

Dis is depressatatin'.

Well, Leo, it was just the first annual. We'll start earlier next year. We'll move the decorations into the stores right after Easter. Peeps out, Slip in. We'll have a big Black Toisday sale or something. Get people fired up weeks beforehand. Sell malaprop dictionaries and English/Bowery Boy translator apps.

Maybe it slipped (har!) some minds. Mr. Philbin says he totally forgot for most of the day, until he slipped (hyuk!) some dese and dose into his dialogue after supper.

So assuming that mere forgetfulness was our downfall, I resist his suggestion that we were up against pushback from the Talk Like a Pirate guys. Sure, those guys are scurvied scalawags and all, but their day doesn't fall until September. I consider us cohorts, not competitors. Of course, in the Bowery Boys' film Hold That Hypnotist, it was suggested that in a past life Slip's sidekick Sach Jones snagged a map leading to Blackbeard's treasure, so there may be some bad feelings.

Anyway, enough of this stupidity! Back to our regular stupidity tomorrow!

Talk Like Slip Mahoney Day is here!

So da day is finally here, da day we rememberate our ol' pal Slip Mahoney, king of the Noo Yawk malapropism and central protractorist of most of da Bowery Boys movies. Slip was portrayed by dat esteemed thesaurus Leo Gorcey, who expiated on dis date in 1969.

Da Bowery Boys began as da Dead End Kids in da 1937 Cagney pitcher Dead End, den went on ta do movies and serials as da Little Tough Guys, den da East Side Kids, and finally da Bowery Boys. Da flicks stahted as crime adventures wit some comedy and eventually turned into comedy wit some crime adventures. Troughout most of da Bowery Boys era, Slip Mahoney was da king (and Leo Gorcey owned a hunk of the production company).

Da flicks had most of da ushal street types in movies---dummies, palookas, babyface lovers, dippers, gorillas, yeggs, you name it---but Slip was a classic of da type of fast-talkin' woik-aversive dropout whose tough exterior hid a knightly interior. He could crack wise with da best of 'em, but was expecially good at misusin' da language.

You can see Slip doin' his thing here, in the opener* of 1954's The Bowery Boys Meet the Monsters:

Now dat you'ze seen da maestaro in action, I'm sure you can eviscerate his technique. Let us know how youze make out. (And remember to trow in some insults to yer idiot sidekicks. Dat's anuddah Slip trademark.)

*Something I didn't know when I was watching these things as a kid: Leo Gorcey's father, 4'10" Bernard, played Louie Dumbrowski, proprietor of the soda shop. The Bowery Boys were kind of a family business---Leo's brother David actually appeared in more of the Bowery Boys movies than Leo did.