Sunday, February 9, 2020

Cord, cut.

So we did it -- something I advised a junior colleague against years ago. But yes, we have joined the legion of people without a landline telephone.

This feels weird.

The bracket and jack gape from the wall in silent accusation.

Since I was a kid, we had the phone on the kitchen wall and the phone in the master bedroom. When we moved, there was a phone on the kitchen wall and one in the master bedroom. When I had my first apartment. When I had my second apartment. When we bought the house. You get the idea.

I can remember the phone number we got when I was four years old. The phone numbers changed but the phone followed us everywhere.


And now? Phoneless.

Of course, we're not phoneless; we have cell phones. All our business calls are done through the cells; now, all our personal calls too. This is a change I wouldn't have expected. We got our cell phones back in the day because they were great for emergency use, especially when we were commuting to the city. It could be really tough to stay in contact in the pre-cell days, as anyone over thirty probably knows. My wife sold me on the idea -- "What if the car breaks down? What if you miss your train?" Memorably, the day we needed them the most -- the day those hell-bound bastards took down the towers -- cell phones weren't working at all.

Nevertheless, they have indeed been very handy at all other times.

I had told my young associate to get a landline because I felt cell phones were not reliable. You could run out of power. You could drop and break your phone! It could get lost or stolen! You could miss an important business call! But over the years I have found that these things didn't happen, or when they did could be rectified quickly. So we finally decided to eliminate one monthly bill and cut the cord.

I used the Christmas cards to alert everyone: "Don't call that old number! Ixnay on the olday umbernay! Just don't do it!"

Not that they were. Except for two aged relatives, everyone else who wanted me used e-mail or the cell phone. And the scammers. Oh, yes, they checked in on the landline once a day or so. And I have always suspected that we're one digit off from a kosher pizzeria, because the caller ID might have names like Shlomo Kritchenschmeir, and they'd just hang up when they got the voice mail.

I won't miss them. However, in addition to personal contacts, I made a list of all the businesses and utilities who had our home phone number that would have to be alerted to the change. Insurance companies, banks, utilities, clients, and so on. It was a long list, and I'm inching through it.

One that won't be alerted is the phone company. I thought when I called them (because you couldn't cancel service online) they would make the Big Pitch as to why you should stay. You know, offer to throw in free services, or cut the ever-increasing bill (over $100 monthly!), but no. Just, "Okay, sure, bye," and the phone went dead that same day. It was like breaking up with an angry girlfriend. I'm not good enough for you? Fine. Just fine. You're dead to me.

And that's fine.

Got the final bill yesterday. I owe $0.00. And that really rang my bell.

4 comments:

Stiiv said...

If you have an alarm system monitored by a central station, your system may not have any way to send signals now that the landline is gone. If that's the case, contact your alarm company & ask about converting your system to cellular communication.

If you don't have an alarm system, disregard previous paragraph. ;>

Fiendish Man said...

We have kept the landline at my house because there are calls that I just don't want to get when I am anywhere but home. Also, there are few times when our house is completely empty of people.

On the other hand, my insurance company called me on my cell the other day. I was at work but not too busy so I took the time to talk to them and it was well worth it. They reduced my monthly premiums by $80 and increased my insufficient levels of coverage to maximum. Without the cell phone I might have missed out!

Funny you mention pizzeria, because the phone number that I grew up with was one digit off from a favorite pizza pickup counter. We didn't get many calls, but one time my brother took their order. They must have been mad when they showed up for their pizza and no one knew what they were talking about!

FredKey said...

Hey, Stiiv -- one of the reasons we waited this long was that we had to have the alarm system upgraded to a wireless one. So, it's $15 more a month but $100 less for the phone bill. So we still make out.
FM -- Insurance? You must have assets or something. Big spender! (Who's more Fiendish, you or your brother?)

Dan said...

We have modern smart phones (less than two years old) but I still don't trust them. So, we still have our landline. Hurricanes can knock out a lot of stuff, but landlines usually work.

The cells are for trips (and like when I'm at the VA and my wife needs to pick me up). I've warned our friends and relatives that they should only use the landline number unless we send out a "we'll be on the cell" message (like for lengthy trips with overnight stays). Also, I can use our cell as a hot spot in hotels and at home when our Verizon service dies.

When our son was stationed at Ft Bliss a few years ago, he saw that his quarters on post were already wired, so he called the phone company for a landline. He was told they no longer were available in his service area.