Canadian duplicity.

I first heard about ketchup potato chips a few years ago when editing a novel. The author had a character who was obsessed with ketchup-flavored potato chips. I scowled -- was there such a thing? I looked online and discovered that, sure enough, these were very big -- in Canada. The author, as it happened, is Canadian.

Since then, I wondered if Canada was holding out on us, and why. Surely it's common knowledge that Americans love ketchup, even if it is now only our second- or possibly third-favorite condiment. And Canada makes a lot of prepared foods that America loves, like candy. Or at least they have been; perhaps NAFTA 2.0 will quash some of that off-shore manufacturing.

But I suspect that Canada, or as that brilliant theologian Fr. Jim Chern calls it, Fake America, has been holding out on us. I think they somehow embargoed ketchup potato chips for years, secretly laughing in their chip-crumb-covered wickedness, at how they pulled one over on us. But somehow Lays has managed to get some bags to the consumer in the U.S.of A., at least for a limited time, and I scored one.

I asked my friends about it, and a buddy posted on Facebook about it and asked his friends. One person he found the idea disgusting but he had seen ketchup chips in France. Figures, the Quebecois would ship chips to their mother country and not to Real America. Another guy had tried them, liked them. Others were unethused by the idea. "Betcha can eat just one" was my favorite reply. Still, some were more philosophical: "Hey, it's still a potato chip."

So I tried them. And... they taste like barbecue potato chips. I can hardly tell the difference. Not surprising, since ketchup forms the basis for many or even most of our favorite BBQ sauces. These chips are fine if you like that. Otherwise, it was not worth the fight with the snowbacks to the north and their PM Zoolander.

If we want to go to war with Fake America, I suppose we can still find a reason. Here's one. I'm still mad about compromising over 54" 40° or Fight. If the Mexicans can demand the original borders of Mexico back, I say we need to demand the original Oregon Country back.

Come on, gang! Vancouver or bust! Let's go! Let's do it for Polk! Win one for the Polkster! What do you say?