Thursday, December 15, 2016

Well, blow me up.

I just can't get into the inflatable Christmas decorations. 

Not that I mind if you have them. When I see them on others' lawns, I smile. (Good of me, I know.) They tend to be cute and fun, even if they're two stories tall, like Hammacher Schlemmer's titanic reindeer

Just $379.95.
Some people are devoted to them, like the man in Pennsylvania who was reported to have 103 of them a couple of years ago---who knows how many he's got by now?

People like him disprove the notion that the inflatable decoration is just a lazy means of decorating; just plug it in and go back to watching football, right? No, you have to spike it down (really well, if you live in a windy area as I do), you have to run extension cords around, you have to floodlight it if it doesn't have an interior light, and what not. However, if the big balloon is the only decoration on the house, it does look kind of lazy.

The electricity use is one of the downsides for me, though. You can hear that fan running constantly on the windblown inflatables. It seems they still make some blow-ups that don't require perpetual inflation, like this chap: 

He's just chillin'

But most of the ones I see do. You go into the Holiday section of the Home Depot at this time of year and it sounds like an airfield of P-47 Thunderbolts preparing for takeoff. And no one wants to leave them on all day, buzzing and sucking up electricity, so most of them wind up spending the bulk of the daylight hours lying in a heap, looking like a used holiday-themed condom on the lawn.

At least you can tell what these are supposed to be.

I prefer the decor that can be enjoyed day and night---which means ribbons and swags on the house for daylight viewing, lights for nighttime viewing. It's like two separate but coexisting themes. They can be seen together only briefly, at twilight. It's not the most impressive display on the block, but it's good for all hours.

Well, until 10 pm. Then the window lights would keep the dogs awake.

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