Wonderboy!

You remember in the film version of The Natural that hero Roy Hobbs has a homemade bat called Wonderboy, I'm sure. Unlike every other baseball bat made of wood, this mighty bat remains intact as his career flourishes. It is his signature, his totem, his Excalibur.

Behold, my Wonderboy!

This mighty stick was seen on the tree, the sole dead branch of the living timber, and I snapped it off with a pull of my arm. Then I wandered in the yard, where many a tennis ball lay, neglected by my faithful hound, who was eating grass. And lo, I used the bat to whack fungoes up toward the house, with such ease and agility one might think that I actually had talent. It looked like I had found the weapon I had sought all my life, the staff of power for the striking of tennis balls and other foes.

Then my dog got hold of it.

To borrow a page from Eddie Murphy, any guy who'd had his stick cut in half is gonna be upset.

Junior varsity dog Nipper is an insane chewer of sticks, as I've mentioned here a number of times, and he can make short work of any raw piece of wood. Shortly after the second picture Nipper started jumping at the stick remainder, and reduced the whole thing to toothpicks before we went in.

Maybe it's just as well. I'm too old to try out for Major League Baseball now. I suspect my stick was not regulation anyway.

At least it kept Nipper out of trouble in the yard, for a minute and a half or so.