Flitter Upper.

We're Chirp and Joanna Cranes. We take the worst nest in the best neighborhood and turn it into our avian client's dream home. Are you ready to see your Flitter Upper?

[Run logo, theme music -- blah blah blah something about home]

Chirp: Who's the pigeon this time, Jojo?

Jo: Bobolink and Wren are looking for a bigger place for their growing family, but they can't afford new construction. They're hoping we can find a good handybird special for their flock.

Bobo: Our place is just too small for us and our five kids, but we can't afford much.

Wren: We have a little nest egg.

Chirp: How much we talkin'?

Wren: No, I mean an actual nest egg. Little Herman or Hermoine will be due soon! Help!

Chirp: You should see our brood!

Jo: We've been all over Waco looking for just the right place for you, or it will be after we fix it up. What do you think of this?

Wren: Bleah.

Bobo: You're kidding. 

Chirp: It don't look like much now, but let Joanna get to work on some designs and you'll be amazed. 

Jo: There's good bones here; we can convert this into a tri-level that's perfect for your family. 

Wren: Are you serious?

Chirp: Do hogs like slop?

Bobo: ...I guess...

Chirp: Well, same here.

Wren: I suppose we can afford it. Let's call the bank. I'll talk to the branch manager.

[Later]

Jo: So Bobo and Wren are excited about the new place after I showed them my plans. 

Chirp: And you know what that means today is!

Jo: Demo day.

Chirp: DEMO DAY! WHOO HOO! [runs off camera; crashing heard. Joanna rolls eyes.]

Jo: Done?

Chirp: [returning, covered in twigs] Yup! 

Jo: Find any shiplap? 

Chirp: I just find it so exciting the way you say "shhhiplappp."

Jo: No, huh?

Chirp: Not this time.

[Later]

Chirp: Despite the tremendous lack of shiplap in this build, we managed to get it done on time and right on budget. 

Jo: Bobo and Wren, are you ready to see your Flitter Upper? 

Bobo and Wren: Yes! 

Bobo and Wren: WHOA!

Bobo: Look! It's got a room... and another room... and another room!

Wren: And each one has a hole!

Chirp: I liked the way Jojo used a mock-timber Federation style framing on the gable.

Bobo: Yeah, I was about to say that. 

Wren: I love that giant clock as a design element in the living room!

Jo: Thanks! It's a Timex.

Wren: It's perfect! Wait till our three kids see it! 

Jo: Three? I thought you had five.

Bobo: We threw two of them out of the nest during construction.

Wren: But they can come to visit! And another one's on the way, as soon as I get home and sit on him or her for a while! 

Jo: Chirp used mostly new materials to rebuild the old April-built robins' nest into this modern, multilevel home, perfect for an active family of seven... or five... or six. 

Chirp: Plus, we stocked it with food to get you started!

Bobo: That's great! I could use a-- SQUIRREL!

ALL: YIKES!

[A squirrel raiding the house]

Squirrel: Nice place! No shiplap, though. 

[closing credits]