Crushalogs III: The Secret of the Ooze.

They're back, and they're fabulous. 

Every three years on the dot I blog about the load of catalogs I've gotten for Christmas, usually around the middle of November. 

The original Crushalogs piece in 2016 was one of my most read posts ever, as I noted in the sequel in 2019. Since then Google got out of the practice of referring blogs to other blog users on the Blogger platform, and readership across the board has plummeted. I guess Google hasn't figured out a way to get us to buy phony visitors as Twitter has done and TikTok still does. They probably don't care anymore. "Who reads blogs? That's old-man stuff." And so they leave the Blogger upkeep to the the virtually unemployable, the habitually stoned, and the dumdum interns.

But enough complaints. Above you see most of the load of Christmas catalogs I have received since the season started around mid-October. A few got away, I'm sure; for example, I get frequent mailings from the wholesale club, and they sort of ease slowly into the holiday theme before they go all-in on Christmas, so it can be hard to tell when they're nearly Christmas or really most sincerely Christmas. I only want to include the latter in the annual roundup. 

Also, I'm sure a few made it into the recycle bin without any consideration for the importance of this blog. That may be due to my forgetfulness, or to the actions to unnamed others in this home. 

The question remains, however: Have I yet received enough Christmas mailings to outweigh a ream of paper? 

There was a time when you'd ask that about the phonebook. Many things were compared to the size, girth, and weight of the phone book, especially the Manhattan Yellow Pages. But the phonebook has become the phonepamphlet. Geez, I'm old-fashioned and even I ignore the phonebook. So instead I'm comparing the load of catalogs to date against a fresh ream of 20-pound copier paper, the kind where you want the printout to be legible but not necessarily suitable for framing. So, using my handheld luggage scale, let's see which weighs more! 

Ream of paper: 5 pounds

Fred's catalogs to date: 2 pounds 

I think I can safely say that catalog mailings are down from previous years. Could be the lousy economy, or just that more and more people ignore mailings as time marches on. 

I will say this: It's been a couple of years since Restoration Hardware sent me their enormous card-stock catalog set, and that would definitely have tilted the fight to the catalogs. That would have weighed close to the same as the ream of paper all by itself. Hell, if you request the lot, that’s 2,500+ pages right there, and not cheap local coupon-clipper-mailer paper! Looks like RH discovered that I work in publishing, though, and so I don't have two thousand clams to throw around for hairy ottomans. But if you have someone on your list who wants a good doorstop, or a beginner's weightlifting set, request all their catalogs and that's one person off your list for free! 

Well, now it's to the recycling bin with you, catalogs, where after you will join your brethren in the landfill, because no one wants recycling and they won't burn scrap paper for energy like they should. Cheerio!