Cereal drama.

Longtime readers, all Rhodes Scholar material of course, will know that I enjoy breakfast cereal and have sampled many and weird and sugary examples for this site, and also that our house is addicted to Dunkin' "Leave-Off-the-Donuts-for-Savings" coffee.

Well, I was in the Walmart and ran into this Trumpian wall of cereal.

Good grief.

Dunkin' Caramel Macchiato and Dunkin' Mocha Latte are the surprising coffesque flavors available via Post. Surprising because Dunkin' is known less for pretentious coffee varieties than a certain other green-themed coffee chain we know. Although Dunkin' has benn trying to horn in on the highfalutin European coffee varieties, most people who go to Dunkin' still just get plain old coffee, with various degrees of milk and sweetener. It's one reason the line moves faster there. And yet, Post has turned to its fancy coffee to make cereal.

The Post company says: "Love coffee? Our new Post Dunkin'™ Caramel Macchiato and Mocha Latte cereals are made with Dunkin'® coffee. It’s a whole new way to enjoy the flavor of your favorite Dunkin'® drinks!"

I resisted temptation. I really am trying to be better about the sugar this year. Failing, but trying. But I am glad I did. A serving of the Mocha Latte cereal, for example, has about the same calories as a serving of Frosted Flakes, and almost as much sugar. Dunkin' cereal is marketed to older kids and adults (what child is interested in coffee?) but has the nutrition of a kiddie cereal.

Here's something interesting: I checked with the invaluable Mr. Breakfast site to see if his Cereal Project had reviewed these cereals yet. It has not as of this writing. However, it did have a report on a Dunkin' Donuts Cereal made by Ralston in the dim yesteryear of 1988!

This cereal was all in on the Donut, being made like little glazed doughnuts in Cheerio form. A chocolate variety was also available. An image of late character actor Michael Vale, who played Fred the Baker (no relation) on the Dunkin' Donuts commercials, adorned the box.

Dunkin' Donuts cereal was universally loved in retrospect by the reviewers on Mr. Breakfast's site, but not apparently by shoppers in 1988. It was not successful, and in fact six years later Ralston would spin off its cereals into a separate outfit, and soon after sell its entire branded cereal line  -- including Chex and Cookie Crisp -- to General Mills. After 95 years, the Ralston name was no longer attached to cereals.

Interesting information about Ralston from Mr. Breakfast himself:

The name Ralston stems from a minor social movement in the late 19th century called Ralstonism -- created by Webster Edgerly. Followers of the movement (about 800,000) followed the motto "Regime, Activity, Light, Strength, Temperation, Oxygen and Nature" -- the first letters of which spelled out "Ralston". Ralstonism required its adherents to follow very strict guidelines regarding diet and personal hygiene.

Doesn't Fred the Baker just inspire "Regime, Activity, Light, Strength, Temperation, Oxygen, and Nature"?

Nah. I know Fred the Me doesn't. Anyway, since the movement was jammed with eugenics and other insanity, I think I'd rather have a doughnut instead.