Here's my story, in painless brevity:
1) Weather
Large Economy Size Dog Tralfaz was foiled again in his quest for snow. It was actually snowing when we went out at six, but it didn't mean it. All told, it wasn't even a dusting -- more like a film. It had melted by nine.
I think he's actually getting sore about it. Me, I still think Old Man Winter has something awful in the wings. I'm not putting away my Porta-Igloo, the Huge Lands' End Coat That Walks Like a Man, just yet. Or my thermal underpants.
What? Of course I have thermal underpants. Everyone in the Hudson Valley has thermal underpants. Even Paul Shaffer, I hear. Yeah, big ol' union suit, red as a stoplight.
2) Door
February is here! So my concerns about the blank door are over. Like many of my neighbors, I hung a big red Valentine's Day heart on the door. Stepped back; looked good. Then suddenly realized that the block now looks like a string of Japanese love hotels. Maybe this decorating for every holiday thing is a bad idea.
💖🏩💘🏩💓🏩
All right, all right, I didn't stop the stupid leak! Sheesh. I had the part but I couldn't get the hot water off. I needed to get a tool from the cellar, maybe some Liquid Wrench, and figure a way to do it without causing a boiling-hot geyser. I'm sure this will all be blogfodder at some future time.
4) Groundhog Day
Staten Island Chuck, the groundhog at the zoo on that much-abused borough, predicted an early spring this year, as did that Pennsylvania guy. Chuck has the higher accuracy rating, so Phil probably just fell in line. I'll remind readers that Chuck bit Mike Bloomberg and was maliciously treated by Bill "Warren Wilhelm Jr." de Blasio, so over the years he has also proven to be a good bellwether of human character.
5) Church
Our parish has two afternoon Masses, noon and six. We usually make the noon. It was jamming like Christmas Eve. The pastor welcomed everyone, including those who normally make the six p.m. but didn't because of...
6) The Super Bowl
As you may recall, I have not watched any NFL football since the commissioner decided that political correctness and football go together like mac & cheese, so the crazy people should be allowed to run the asylum. But to be accurate, I caught a little of the Bills/Texans playoff game when we were visiting friends last month, because they had it on. Prior to that the last game I saw any of was last year's Super Bowl, and yes, that was because I had just fallen in the driveway as gracefully as a piano in a Chuck Jones cartoon and gotten a concussion. So, dazed on the sofa, there was nothing I could do when my wife put it on. She's as bad a channel-flipper as any man you may know, and she likes football.
This year I distracted the family unit with Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl XVI for as long as I could (Team Fluff won in a squeaker!), but the unit insisted on seeing the game. And it was a pretty exciting finish. I hear that Hard Rock Stadium has a lot of gold confetti for sale cheap.
And that's another Sunday in the books! Who knows what thrills away today?
I do. Proofreading and physical therapy. Blecch.
Do you know why I come here to "The Dose"? Because of stimulating contents like Paul Shaffer's underpants. You just can't get that anywhere else.
ReplyDeleteExcept maybe at one of them there Japanese love hotels.
Physical therapy and proofing here as well! I "graduated" from the therapist, and will do shoulder work on my own.
ReplyDeleteThe SB is the only NFL I've watched on purpose this season. It was a hot mess from a TV perspective, and I fell asleep halfway through the third. We had company and they were hot to see the ads, but I find as much PC brow-beating in them as in the NFL, so no value was added to my evening via TV, and none of my squares paid out. The tacos were delicious, though.