Nerd snaps.

Yo mama is so fat, I saw her bearing a howdah.

I was reading about Ungoliant in The Silmarillion and I thought of yo mama.

If yo mama was an Egyptian queen, they'd bury her in the Food Pyramid.

I heard yo mama lost some weight -- got downgraded to a dwarf planet.

I saw yo mama the other day -- that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swol'n parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in her belly, that reverend vice, that grey iniquity, that mother ruffian, that vanity in years. She says hi.

I heard the doctor was trying to calculate yo mama's weight with f(x) = b^x but he ran out of numbers.

Gizmodo reports that the big jump scare in the new M. Night Shyamalan movie is a picture of yo mama.

Yo mama's so dumb she would invade Holland and leave her supply centers unsupported in the Mediterranean before a big Italian build round.

I was thinking of yo mama the other day when I heard the fourth movement of Holst's The Planets, and realized that was the closest thing to movement I ever associated with her.

I was looking up the pronunciation of "Chalchiuhtecólotl" and found out it was "yo mama."

I gather that yo mama is a fan of Sir Davy, the great chemical scientist who isolated various elements for the first time -- she was in the park yelling, "Humphry!"

My textbook says that some of the primary fatty acids are dodecanoic, tetradecanoic, eicosanoic, octanoic, octadecanoic, and yo mama.

I saw yo mama in Tod Browning's classic film Freaks. She was the one the freaks called "Ewwww! Gross!"

Yo mama suffers from excessive lack of intellectual and adaptive function and tremendous adipose tissue resulting in morbid obesity, has little moral rigor or regimentation of appetite, and her general appearance is disturbing. I pity you.