Ch-ch-ch-chia.

It's been more than three years since I last subjected myself to chia seeds, and -- I don't know, something came over me -- and I bought these. 

"Snacks"?

I work on these cookbooks sometimes that are supposed to be all healthy and stuff, and these days they seem to run strongly to kale, avocados, and chia seeds. I dislike kale and only like avocado in unhealthy foods, so I thought I'd try chia seeds again. After all, these little gray seeds supposedly contain lots of protein, omega-3s, fiber, antioxidants, and calcium. Why, I'd think someone might come out with a cookbook devoted entirely to chia seeds, except that's crazy.

We live in crazy times.

This very Monday morning, today, I am semi-live blogging the chia-eating event. I say semi-live because I'm not posting as I go, just all at the end.

So here we go:

7:07 a.m.: Gonna start with a teaspoon of straight seeds and see what the flavor is. And that flavor is: nasty. There's a kale-like taste to them with a little fish thrown in. Not as gritty as I expected. They immediately start doing that chia thing when they get damp, releasing gelatinous ooze, which we would not put up with from other foods. But it is why people use chia seeds for puddings. Gross, oozy puddings.

7:12 a.m.: Okay, now we're going to mix two teaspoons chia seeds into 6 oz. of Yoplait French vanilla yogurt and give it a try. And... the weird thing is, there's no chia taste at first, but there is a strong aftertaste. Not nearly as bad as the unaccompanied seeds, though. They almost don't ruin the yogurt. Maybe in the ever-popular smoothies you just gulp them down and don't have to deal with the aftertaste because you don't chew them. Yogurt requires a little mouth activity.

7:18 a.m.: Okay, now we're going to brush our teeth like crazy to make sure we don't have a smile full of seeds.

On the whole, I think chia seeds are going to have to make valid and much stronger claims for health benefits before I'll bother with them again. I hate to admit that I seem to be repelled by healthy foods, but there you go. I just think we ought to avoid eating chia seeds and use them for something more appropriate.