My web page.

Last night was misty and cool, an evening that reminded me of how much I enjoy the fall. 

But I'm not that crazy about spiders. 

Sure, some of them make beautiful webs.

Others just make a mess on the ground and call it a day.

When I was quite small I guess I had a dream with a daddy longlegs that had a body as big as a baseball. I really thought they were that big for a long time. Thank God they aren't, not even in Florida. They're bad anyway.

Creep.

My main issue about spiders is that in autumn they come into the house. I wondered about that -- it's not like we fill up with flies or something after the equinox. As it turns out, the increase in the indoor spider population is caused by the same thing that causes a lot of misery in this world -- guys looking for dames. And, as in the human world, it causes a lot of the guys to get smushed.

One October afternoon a few years ago I had a long drive on back roads in Rockland and Orange counties through the most glorious colors of foliage. It was fantastic, a true feast for the eyes. I got home in a wonderful mood. Then the most gigantic spider I ever saw in person popped up by my favorite chair. I shrieked like a toddler and smashed it so hard I might have caused structural damage to the floor.

That spider was sent by the devil to ruin my happiness.

All these thoughts reminded me of Spider-Man in Marvels, a 1994 limited comic book series by Kurt Busiek, with the incomparable art of Alex Ross. It was a brilliant re-telling of famous moments in the Marvel canon, told from the point of view of a common man. There are a lot of things I loved about the series, but this one page I have never forgotten:

"So creepy..." It had never occurred to me that people would find Spider-Man creepy. But of course they would. A mystery man who can crawl up walls like a spider is scary.

We readers know him as good ol' Spidey. The Defenders might defend you, the Avengers might avenge you, but Spidey would hang with you. Literally! But in the real world: creepy.

Same for his archnemesis, Dr. Octopus; it wasn't until Spider-Man 2 that I realized how weird and frightening he would be in real life. Octopuses are too, but at least we can eat them. In the comics, Doc Ock was menacing, but also a chubby guy with glasses. On the screen his tentacles propelled him with inhuman strength. When the common New Yorkers on the elevated train try to protect Spider-Man, he throws them all to the side like dolls.

Some people like spiders, and octopuses, and I don't want either crawling in my house. If that's the only downside to fall, though, I'll go with it.