Morpheus is a jerk.

Last week was tiresome. I was filling in for someone who was on vacation, and I found out just how annoying his job is. I mean, I thought the worst part of his position was having to deal with, well, me. But that was just part of it. (Of course, I still have to deal with me all the time; how fair is that?)

Between that and a huge project for another employer on which I am slowly grinding to the end, it was a tiring week. And as usual, especially when I'm under work stress, Morpheus was a jerk.

Not the guy from the Matrix movies. I mean the Greek god of dreams. He sucks.

The problem is not dreams of running around Yale naked or trying to work when I can't read or even the world coming to an end. No, it's that I'm dreaming about workish things and that itself is a lot of work. 

It's exhausting. Like the late Mitch Hedberg said, "I hate dreaming. Because when you sleep, you wanna sleep. Dreaming is work, you know -- there I am in a comfortable bed, the next thing you know I have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord. I want a dream of me watching myself sleep."

In one recent one I was at a work event at a stadium, where we were all going to a ball game; I had brought a bunch of pizzas, which I was carrying, and wearing a suit, and I didn't know most of the group and was trying to fit in. No one else was dressed for work. I got lost in the stadium and wound up wandering the halls of the run-down hotel attached to it. I was tired when I got up. And not only tired -- for an hour or so I had this vague sense of something I had to do, until I realized that the thing on my mind was that I worrying that I had to meet up with the imaginary gang to deliver the imaginary pizzas at the imaginary ballpark.

This went on all week. I would have a dream where I could not accomplish something, and my brain would keep working on the problem even after I was awake. Even last night. I had to make two stops at a grocery store that hasn't existed since I was kid and got the wrong things both times, so I had to figure out what I really needed to get for the first fifteen minutes I was up. This is stupid.

Look, Morpheus, I've had it. I already have a bunch of clients who need me to fill in some holes while others are on summer vacation. I don't need unpaid assignments from you. Knock it off.