The Adventure of the Looming Nose.

"This is quite a mysterious conundrum, Watson, but there's no question that there's a logical solution."

"Almost defies explanation, Holmes. A ghostly nose that looms out of the darkness at innocent sleepers? Chilling, what?"

"When we discover how it's being done," said Holmes, "We shall know why."

Well, I can tell you why. Our older dog, Tralfaz, keeps waking up in the night to pee and whatnot, as I krexed about last week. Sadly, it has not resolved itself since.

This four-year-old galoot has used several methods of waking us. He normally sleeps downstairs, and may just start whining down there. Sometimes he'll come upstairs and start whining in the hall. One night I left the bedroom door open (contrary to fire safety recommendations) and woke when I suddenly felt an alien presence in the room. There, out of the darkness, dimly lit by the soft glow of the digital clock, came the looming nose.

I just don't know what to do with this guy. Taking him out just before our bedtime, even if I had to wake him to go, seemed to help -- once or twice. Modifying his thyroid supplement seemed to help -- a little. Melatonin, diphenhydramine, each seemed to work -- once or twice. Together, once. The vet couldn't get a urine sample from him -- of course he'd peed just before we got in the car, he was so excited -- but did an ultrasound of his bladder and said it looked fine. He diagnosed anxiety and recommended Xanax, giving me a prescription to take to the normal human drugstore. My wife and I kind of pulled back from that. Doping him with something that can be a street drug just seemed severe, like we were sacrificing his health for our convenience.

But was that the right call? If he really is suffering from nighttime anxiety, is our hesitance making him suffer more? And us, too?

It's so tough with animals; they just won't tell you what's up. Dogs are famous for pretending everything is jake when they're sick. Not to mention that they're awfully tough. While playing in the yard two weeks ago, I jammed my thumb on Tralfaz's noggin so hard that I had to walk away for a couple of minutes so the pain could stop. It still hurts. He never reacted at all. I've seen little dog Nipper get up fast and smack his head on the underside of the table with a big enough bang to rattle the salt and pepper shakers, then just smile like nothing happened. It's amazing. (Accidentally tug one of Tralfaz's 80 billion hairs, though, and he yelps like he got stabbed.)

So the adventure continues.

Last night seemed to go all right, though, and I think it's because I got both boys out for a long walk. Fazzy did NOT want to go, fought me all the way from the front door to the sidewalk, but once we took off he seemed to enjoy it. Both of them were plenty tired afterward.

"Walking the dog" seems like a prosaic way to solve the issue, but it's not the first time I've tried extra exercise with him. It seemed to work -- once or twice.