Honest book blurbs,

"I couldn't wait to finish it!"

"Not highly offensive."

"Words fail me... and the author, too!"

"Doris Razz has tried to write the best book possible on this topic, and you have to hand it to her for trying."

"I'm glad they paid me to read this one."

"Supermodel Elle Emme Enohpee has published this interesting exposé of the fashion world, and perhaps she will even read it sometime."

"The fine, velvet finish of the paper in this spectacular edition was a great comfort to me during an outbreak of cholera." 

"Clarity in writing is so important. I knew who the murderer was on page eight."

"Harvard political scientist Ti-Yu Vee's insight is inversely proportional to his ignorance, and one of them is vast."

"Too short to really annoy me."

"Not the worst thing I've read this year!"

"Doesn't make sense, but I didn't care!"

"Not actually painful!"

"Genius is not a word that comes to mind when one thinks of Hilda Gulgerloaf, but there you are."

"Fulfills his contractual obligation perfectly."

"Ezekiel Dennis the Science Menace, as seen on PBS, undoubtedly does know some things. His own shoe size, perhaps."

"It has pages, and a spine. I was amazed!"

"You won't believe something of this quality could be published."

"Nedd Blarpski has used letters to form words ... and words to form sentences."

"You'll never read a book like this again!"

"It's in the original English."

"I'm not sure that people who like this sort of thing will be the people who will like this sort of thing."

"Best read while hammered."

"It's a book, all right."