Sunday, December 10, 2017

Christmas calories.

Last week I said I might break down and eat that third seasonal doughnut by Dunkin' Donuts, the Frosted Sugar Cookie Donut. "No!" you said. "Be strong! Don't eat the fattening, tooth-rotting sugar bomb, Fred!"

I thank you for your concern, but I did it anyway.


This doughnut was described by Dunkin' Donuts as a "frosted donut with cookie dough flavored filling and topped with crumbled frosted sugar cookies" -- my fear, you may recall, was that it would taste like a sugar-frosted sugar doughnut with sugary-sugar-flavored filling and topped with sugar. I mean, I could just spoon sugar out of the five-pound sack directly into my mouth and save the trip. But that's not what this doughnut was like.

As with the gingerbread cookie I described in the last thrilling doughnut episode, the cookie crumbles on top of this doughnut have little flavor, and seem to be there to provide just texture. The filling is not that pure gout of sweetalanche that other Dunkin' products have had; it does have a bit of sugar cookie taste but not just sugar. However, "sugar cookie" is a flavor that is usually characterized by butter as well as sugar, and is subtle -- I don't feel that it has been captured here. I will say that the doughnut is not aggressively oversweet and is pleasant. While the unsweetened crumbles used in place of actual sugar cookies help prevent it from being too powerful, they still come across bizarre, a cookie that doesn't taste like anything.

On the topic of Christmas and cookies, though, I have to ask Nabisco: What the heck is this?


The Oreo "Winter" limited edition is the laziest excuse for a special Oreo that Nabisco makes. Look at that thing. That is a plain Oreo with red food coloring in the center. No unusual flavor. This is the outfit that gave us Cookie Butter Oreos and Cookie Dough Oreos and Birthday Cake Oreos and freaking Blueberry Pie Oreos, and this is all they do for Christmas? Sorry: "Winter"?

And what's "winter" about this? Red? Obviously they mean Christmas, but they won't say it, or even "Holiday." Christmas is associated with the color red. Winter is associated with white and ice-blue. They're not even trying. This is a lazy, lazy holiday cookie. Too lazy to even call it a "Holiday" cookie.

If they were going to do something for the Christmas season, and didn't feel like inventing a new flavor, they should have made the filling green and red (they used multi-colored fillings in their Candy Corn Oreos and others) or alternated red and green ones in the package. Then call them Holiday Oreos. Or, what the heck, Christmas Oreos.

But just red filling? Cram them in the jar until February and call them Valentine's Oreos. This is just sad.

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