Some movie sites really seem to care about the spoilers more
than the movies. The juicy feeling of being the one to spill the beans is hard
to resist, after all, although we used to have to restrict that to spreading
malicious information about our dearest friends, family, and neighbors.
I don't like ruining stories for people--well, I would enjoy showing off how much I know and
YOU DON'T, but I dislike having stories ruined for me. You'd probably take
revenge at some point. That's just like you, isn't it?
🎬ðŸŽðŸŽ¥
So I decided to just reveal the spoilers for movies that don't
exist. That way I get the pleasure of revealing secrets that I
know and you
don't!!! without
actually being a jerk. Without further ado...
SPOILER ALERT!
AberZombie & Fitch
The President of the United States is secretly a zombie!
The President of the United States is secretly a zombie!
Cannonball Run (remake)
Drew Carey and Wayne Brady are not really priests!
Drew Carey and Wayne Brady are not really priests!
Orbit Ultimate
The aliens are friendly--the bad guys are the United States Army!
The aliens are friendly--the bad guys are the United States Army!
Vertigo II
She's still dead!
She's still dead!
Unfinity
Tom Cruise discovers that Saturn is hollow--and the Earth is now inside it!
Tom Cruise discovers that Saturn is hollow--and the Earth is now inside it!
Dan Brown's Women Are from Venice
The Pope did it!
The Pope did it!
Perchance
Zooey Deschanel picks Channing Tatum over Zach Galifianakis!
Zooey Deschanel picks Channing Tatum over Zach Galifianakis!
Plague Ball!
The horrible pandemic was part of a plot to seize power by the Vice-President of the United States!
The horrible pandemic was part of a plot to seize power by the Vice-President of the United States!
Monkeys in My Pants
Jim Carrey's monkeys are granted "Earth Citizenship" by the United Nations!
Jim Carrey's monkeys are granted "Earth Citizenship" by the United Nations!
Crimea the Century
Hercule Poirot (Cedric the Entertainer) solves the murder!
Hercule Poirot (Cedric the Entertainer) solves the murder!
Phoenix Blues
The killer is old Detective Jack Jensen!
The killer is old Detective Jack Jensen!
The Fluffernuttins
Rip Torn was just a hired stooge--Sofia Vergara is behind the plot to kidnap the sweet li'l Fluffernuttins!
Rip Torn was just a hired stooge--Sofia Vergara is behind the plot to kidnap the sweet li'l Fluffernuttins!
The Scrapbook
You think Ryan Gosling's dead at the end--but he's not!
You think Ryan Gosling's dead at the end--but he's not!
Boot Hill, Mountain High
The Cherokee had nothing to do with the attack; it was the United States Cavalry!
The Cherokee had nothing to do with the attack; it was the United States Cavalry!
H. R. Pufnstuf: The Movie
Will Ferrell (H. R.) destroys Witchiepoo by turning her Evil Witchie Spell against her, saving Living Island, and is nearly killed himself--but Freddy the Magic Flute saves him at the last second!
Will Ferrell (H. R.) destroys Witchiepoo by turning her Evil Witchie Spell against her, saving Living Island, and is nearly killed himself--but Freddy the Magic Flute saves him at the last second!
Dog Day Afternoon (remake--following test
audiences)
Sonny and Sal and Leon get away with the money!
Sonny and Sal and Leon get away with the money!
Space Sierra Notebook
It turns out that the plot to contaminate the Earth from space was engineered by the United States Army under the command of the Vice-President of the United States, but Will Smith reveals it as his ship is plunging from orbit and burning up, and you think he's dead but the aliens who turned out to be friendly save him so he can be with Keira Knightly, while John Cusack leads the revolt that restores harmony and ecological balance to the Earth!
It turns out that the plot to contaminate the Earth from space was engineered by the United States Army under the command of the Vice-President of the United States, but Will Smith reveals it as his ship is plunging from orbit and burning up, and you think he's dead but the aliens who turned out to be friendly save him so he can be with Keira Knightly, while John Cusack leads the revolt that restores harmony and ecological balance to the Earth!
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