Moaning.

As I noted early this year, we like a good animated film around these parts. We're not much for horror movies and we have the standard female/male disagreement over rom coms vs. shoot-'em-ups. But we both grew up enjoying Wile E. Coyote getting blown to charcoal, so we still have fondness for well-done animated films. Here one we finally got around to.

Moana is an interesting Disney princess movie in some regards, one being that it pokes fun at Disney princess movies. For example, the heroine has the most useless animal sidekick in probably all the Disney movies, including Flounder and Pascal, who never amounted to much. But Heihei the stupid rooster is my favorite character in the film, providing about 80% of the laughs. (The story of how the character Heihei wound up so stupid is told here.)

Heihei: Not too bright.

On the whole Moana is an entertaining film -- pirate coconuts could improve probably any film, including Easy Rider -- but I did have some complaints. Of course I did. I always do. I almost called this entry "Bitchin' and Moana" but I was afraid it wouldn't be clear what I meant by bitchin' -- I mean my complaining.

Much as I hate to object to the shining halo of St. Lin-Manuel Miranda, I didn't enjoy most of the songs. They quickly became a tiresome collection of "I'm Great" tunes, and the more serious they were the worse they were.

Don't believe me? Here are some of the numbers and what they're about:

• "Where You Are" -- We are awesome
• "How Far I'll Go" -- I am awesome
• "You're Welcome" -- I am awesome
• "Shiny" -- I am awesome
• "We Know the Way" -- We are awesome

That's their entire function, telling about the awesomeness of the various singers. The best of these songs, THE best song in the movie, and in my mind the only good one, goes to Maui. "You're Welcome" is not only a catchy tune, it's also a hilarious number with excellent animation that establishes character and history in a terrific way. It says "I'm awesome" in a way that tells you "I am full of myself." Miranda wrote it, so big fishhooks up on that.

Moana's own song, "How Far I'll Go," by contrast, is annoying, repetitious, and completely self-centered but not in a funny way. Let's have a look at some princess songs of the past and what they told us about the characters:

• Snow White, "Someday My Prince Will Come" -- I would love to find somebody worthy of my love
• Pocahontas, "Colors of the Wind" -- I love this place and I love nature
• Sleeping Beauty, "Once Upon a Dream" -- Love is wonderful and I sleep a lot
• Belle, "Belle" -- I want to see the world
• Tiana, "Almost There" -- I want to accomplish great things
• Ariel, "Part of Your World" -- I would love to see this wonderful place you live in
• Jasmine, "A Whole New World" -- What a wonderful world this is, and you're nice too
• Rapunzel, "When Will My Life Begin?" -- I am going nuts in this tower
• Elsa, "Let It Go" -- I'm gonna destroy everything with ice power

("Let It Go" doesn't actually count, as it was a queen's song, not a princess song, and Elsa is the villain of the movie, no matter what the girls think.)

These songs tend to be directed outward, not just a celebration of the wearisome Me. Tiana's and Belle's songs are close to Moana's, as they show a desire for adventure and recognition, but they also show the characters at their innocent stage; Belle and Tiana would find their dreams but become deeper, wiser people later. Even though they achieve their goals, they don't reprise the songs; they are more mature now. Moana does reprise her crummy song because she doesn't change at all. A little more gutsy and confident, sure, but while other characters may say "I've learned so much" she says "I was right all the time."

As for Tamatoa, the enormous monster crab who sings "Shiny," he's my other main objection to the film. He's not the big bad, but in a way he's worse. He's the only Disney villain I can recall that gave off a real molesterish vibe; anyone else catch that? There's something seriously icky going on that is too much for children's entertainment. Plus his song is dreary and annoying (Miranda co-wrote), the worst in the movie.

My biggest disappointment (spoiler coming!) is when Moana returns to her home island following her adventure. Her folks see the boat coming in. For a moment I hoped her father would point and say, "Wow! Will you look at that! Heihei's sailing that boat! Oh, wait, the kid's there too." But no, Moana gets all the adulation. The film really hits that girl-power wish-fulfillment a little too hard on the nose.

I feel bad for boys, whose heroes never get this treatment anymore. Boys wind up almost being sidekicks in their own adventures. Hermoine's smarter than Harry; Annabeth's smarter than Percy; the girls are always tougher and more driven in stories, even ones written specifically for boys. No wonder boys are growing up to be men who drop out of society. But that's a story for another time.