If you're just joining us, there is a black bear that has been roaming the neighborhood, making himself quite at home in daylight hours as well as in dusk and dawn. It was seen most recently by me from the porch last Wednesday as he sauntered down the street.
My wife wants me to call the state fish & wildlife office. The local authorities have no interest in bear matters, so it must be referred to the closest state office -- one county and forty miles away. So you can bet they'll just come racing down here with sirens wailing, ready to capture a big ol' bear. Yeah.
Every time I take out the trash or take out the dog in the dark, I also take out my big ol' cop flashlight, the kind you can use to beat the fight out of a fleeing felon. Probably would not give me the edge in a fight with the bear, but it's better than nothing. I believe it when they say bears would really prefer not to get too close to humans -- but this guy is already taking liberties.
Meanwhile, we have Eastern Coyotes again all of a sudden. Do they follow bears, looking for scraps? I don't know, but my wife has heard them howling, and I'm pretty sure I saw one in hot pursuit of three deer through the gloaming.
So last night I dreamed I was outside the house (not my actual house) and looking into the backyard (way larger my actual backyard) while on the phone with my friend Will (my actual friend). Dog Izzy was in the back. Suddenly through the high grass bordering the yard came a multitude of wild critters -- a rhino, cheetah, a gigantic African elephant, and other assorted miscreants. Izzy froze at the sight. I said, "Will, I'll have to call you back," and got the only useful-ish thing at hand, my three-pound sledgehammer. I wished like the comic book Thor I could use it to shoot lightning, but I figured if I screamed enough and bopped the right people in the snoot, I could give Izzy a chance to run for it. Just as I made my move, I woke up.
I have to say I was a little proud of my dream self, ready to plunge into danger to save my beloved dog. Most of the time I consider myself the kind of guy who, in a crisis, looks around to see who else is stepping up to solve the problem, and if no obvious problem solver appears, to kind of shuffle sideways out of the area. So, yay for dream me, I guess.
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| Yeah, there I am. |
Should I call the government about my bear problem? Not because of my own worries, but because it's dark when the teens are on the school bus stop now. Plus Halloween is coming, and that means little kids at dusk carrying sweet, sweet candy. I'm afraid our bear will think it's like a frozen dinner with the dessert in a separate compartment.
Have you had to deal with bear business like this? Anecdotes and advice are welcome.
The old-school solution to your problem has a caliber attached to it- something at least in the thirties if not the forties. Barring that, you could try negotiation...
ReplyDeleteIllegal to fire a gun in city limits.
Delete> Suddenly through the high grass bordering the yard came a multitude of wild critters -- a rhino, cheetah, a gigantic African elephant, and other assorted miscreants.<
ReplyDeleteIn my dream the Tasmanian Devil was chasing them. ;>
My cousin has an alligator in the neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteAt this point I am sure someone else has already reported the indigenous wildlife to the local fascists.
Our neighborhood in WV has regular visits from black bears. They seem to be mostly interested in bird feeders and trash bins. People claim that if you encounter one, as long as it's not a momma and you are between her and her cubs, standing up tall, yelling and moving aggressively toward the bear will scare it away. On the other hand, if you are between a momma and its cubs, in the words of Ogden Nash, "prepare to say ouch".
ReplyDeleteReport it, embellish as you did in your blog post. Don't depend on someone else to do it. Also write to your state assemblyman/rep/whatever you call it, and your state senator. Write another missive to your Governess.
ReplyDeleteMight as well write the local paper and TV stations, too. Copy-paste is our friend.
I'm with Dan. If your local laws don't allow you to defend your own property, then raise a ruckus with the authorities- Animal Control to the rescue! Of course, in some situations, asking for forgiveness trumps asking for permission.
ReplyDeleteI think you ought to leave the poor guy alone
ReplyDeleteHere in WI we have lots of bears and a pretty well run DNR. A few years ago they came over and live trapped a pesky bruin. You do need to make a case for this, as the process is probably expensive. The bear was trying to get into chicken coops, which I think was more compelling than the knocked over bird feeders. Don't suppose there are early morning kids waiting at a bus stop or some such.......?
ReplyDelete