Start your engines!

I was very sorry to hear that WCBS News Radio 880 in New York City is no more. The AM station had been broadcasting in an all-news format for 57 years. My father was an early riser and would sit at the kitchen table, smoking and drinking coffee and listening to the news on 880. I would hear about the news events of the day before I'd gotten my Rice Krispies. Through blackouts and rampages and killings and war, 880 was there to lead you into the riot of the world. And you'd get traffic and weather on the eights, 12:08, 12:18, 12:28, all around the clock. 

Now 880 is an all-sports station, of which we have enough as it is.

Some kids grow up in houses where National Public Radio is on in the mornings, and I pity them. NPR does nothing to educate you in the ways of the world. It's all soft tones and soft-pedaled socialism. As on PBS, commercials (oops! "thank-yous" to our sponsors) are gentle and intellectual and vacuous. "this program brought to you by the frankfurt school foundation, leading american children today into the bright future of the proletariat tomorrow."

You're going to work or school in the trenches? You needed AM radio. Even the commercials gave it to you straight, like a cup of hot, black coffee. 

THIS SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY ONLY AT AUTOPLANET! TOYOTAS! CHEVYS! FORDS! HONDAS! OVERSTOCK CAR DEALS YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE! GOT A TRADE-IN? IS IT GARBAGE? WE DON'T CARE! DRAG IT IN ON A DOLLY AND WE'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL! NO TRADE-IN? NO DOWNPAYMENT? NO INSURANCE? NO LICENSE? NO PROBLEM! THIS SUNDAY ONLY! WE WILL GET YOU BEHIND THE WHEEL OF SOMETHING AT AUTOPLANET!!!

Your hair almost blew back like from a fan. AM was the real world, where people worked hard and made deals and had to be sharp. NPR was pabulum for people with trust funds who could be bailed out when things went sideways. 

Anyone who listened to real radio in New York before 2018 will remember the extremely aggressive ads for the extremely aggressive dragster shows at Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey. This would wake you up over your toast:

I never went -- not the kind of thing my dad would bother with -- but it sounded like these guys were having a good time. If the internal combustion engine is successfully replaced by batteries (not looking likely right now), it will be a quieter and less fun world. 

Dragzine (not that kind of drag) reported that Raceway Park closed in 2018 after 52 years, which means it was started almost the same year as News Radio 880. I don't know if drag racing has lost some of its thrill for the motorheads. I wouldn't be surprised if insurance costs were somehow involved. 

Fortunately, not everything has changed. The manly love for motors is not dead, as I saw this poster for an upcoming event:

Look at that! Stunts! Demo derby! BUS RACE! And not a Prius in sight. I can hear the ad on the radio in my mind:

SATURDAY NIGHT! SEPTEMBER 21st ONLY! It's the EVE OF DESTRUCTION!!!! Enduro race! Trailer race! Demo derby! BUS race! FIREWORKS! If it combusts, WE HAVE IT! It's the EVE OF DESTRUCTION and GATES OPEN at 4:30! BE THERE!!!

But alas, I won't hear the ad on News Radio 880.