The rules of the game.

Bernard Suits (1925-2007), a philosopher of sports and games (nice work if you can get it, right?), wrote in 1967 that “playing a game is simply the voluntary attempt to overcome unnecessary obstacles.” And that's an interesting way to look at it. 

People who play for money, either gamblers or professional athletes, may pooh-pooh such a flowery description. Winning in those instances may yield a gusher of money -- as well as the rush of defeating an opponent -- so their game may hardly seem to be something as ordinary as voluntary attempts vs. unneeded obstacles. I would hesitate to put that description to either Tyson Fury or Oleksandr Usyk, who fought a brutal boxing match last week to decide the first undisputed heavyweight champion in 25 years. Usyk, the winner of a split decision, was unable to speak to the press afterward, as apparently he also won a split jaw. 

And yet Suits is correct all the same. Whether it's a brutal boxing match or a game of Crazy Eights with your kids, no one has to play, but if you do play, you must overcome the obstacles imposed by the rules. If I'm playing poker for funsies, I still can't reach over and grab the deck and find the cards I want. At that point I may be doing something, but I'm not playing poker. The rules are intended to be obstacles to surmount and a definition of victory over them. 

Of course, there are always those who have the attitude that pro sports is war, and all's fair in love and war. It's not cheating if you don't get caught. If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying. 

We love our rascally rogues, but only if they’re our rascally rogues. When the other guys are deflating footballs and stealing signs, we squeal like pigs. It's satisfying to think that the only reason they were winning was their wickedness. 

We instinctively know that if everyone is cheating, the game is ruined. Major League Baseball's steroid scandal shows that. None of those proven juiced-up muscleheads are going to make the Hall of Fame. (On the other hand, steroid use is no impediment to election to the Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame, because that's not a game -- it's theater.)

I want everyone to play by the rules, but that doesn't mean I don't understand the temptation. If I were a player getting my behind handed to me on the field, seeing my dreams of wealth and glory dwindle, and I thought I could get away with some kind of illegal edge, what would I do? I honestly don't know. But I fear what I would do is talk myself into believing everyone else was doing it, so why not?

One last thought: I think it's kind of excellent that a guy who made a living as a philosopher of games was named Suits. Too bad his first name wasn't Dex.